Hotel Contradiction
I know a lot of you out there are big time travelers. You might even do it for a living or a hobby or just lucky enough to be picked to accompany your boss and coworker to a conference or seminar. So staying in a hotel probably isn’t a big deal to you. All I can say to that is what’s wrong with you, (or me)?
I love me a hotel room. I love the smells, sights, sounds, and mystery stains on the carpet. Despite my love for the hotel room scene, I have always been put off by the hotel room two-sided triangle, which of course is a line, the line of conflicting feelings.
Hotel Love:
-Cranking the air conditioning to where I could store meat in my room and never worrying about cost
-Not having to make the bed
-Free Cable
-Looking to see if there really is pornography in between the mattress and box spring
-No kitchen = must eat out for every meal
-Using the bed as my “every piece of furniture” it’s a couch, it’s a table, it’s a bed, it’s a miracle
-The other guests, people that come and go, speculating about their lives, what they’re doing and where they’re going
-Free breakfast, regardless if it’s the equivalent of what I could buy out of a vending machine, it’s free and usually at room temperature
-Having a phone that never rings
-Being a slob, not excessively, but more than I ever allow myself at home
-The feeling of having invisible servants
Hotel Hate:
-I have never stayed in a room with a comfortable pillow
-I use to work in a hotel so I know just how dirty those rooms really are
-Touching anywhere that is out of direct sight
-Walking around barefoot
-Using the provided amenities
-The feeling of living in an apartment or “back at home with the folks” with neighbors either spying on me or being annoyed at my noise through paper thin walls
The contradiction of “hotel life”, for me, has always been the feeling that it’s party time and wanting to go “rock star” all night yet I always have to get up at the crack of dawn to get going, otherwise you’re wasting the day.
Egg On!
Ramblin’ Rooster
I hate hotel rooms. I can’t sleep at all if I’m not in my own bed and I just feel dirty sleeping in a hotel room. Not dirty like being in a hotel room with someone I shouldn’t be, but dirty like ewwww.. who else slept on that mattress and what the hell did they do?
Claire Collins
July 3, 2009 at 5:11 am
Claire Collins, what makes me shiver is the thought of all the drool that’s soaked into the pillows. They don’t wash those between guests and the pillow cases are tissue thin.
Ramblin' Rooster
July 4, 2009 at 4:07 am
Thanks for the heads up on that one. Next time, I will make sure to take my own pillow cases.
Claire Collins
July 4, 2009 at 4:34 am
Claire Collins, then the only thing between you and the spit sponge will be the pillow case… hope yours are THICK!
Ramblin' Rooster
July 4, 2009 at 5:01 am
One of the great paradoxes of my life; I love to travel and hate most hotels/motels. I’ve also worked in a hotel, a really expensive, good one, and I saw the housekeeping practices. Sure, it looks clean all right. Plus I’ve woken up to find WAY too many bodies in random motel rooms bathtubs.
I do love the ones with a gym, sauna, pool, jacuzzi and steam room though, at least you feel like you got your money’s worth!
Scott Oglesby
July 3, 2009 at 9:20 am
Scott Oglesby, why are you finding bodies in bath tubs? Are you a serial killer? I’ve never cared about the gym and all it’s brothers and sisters. I just want to eat crackers in bed, sleep for a couple of hours and grab a cinnamon roll on the way out in the morning.
Ramblin' Rooster
July 4, 2009 at 4:10 am
He didn’t necessarily say they were dead bodies Rooster. Maybe they’re living and of the female variety and poor Scott’s been too drunk to remember how they got there?
Claire Collins
July 4, 2009 at 4:36 am
Claire Collins, I guess you make a good point. Perhaps I’m the serial killer in the fact that I immediately assume they’re dead. Oops…
Ramblin' Rooster
July 4, 2009 at 5:02 am
I’ve said too much already. I’ve learned (finally, after 15 years) to stop mixing alcohol, xanax, mdma, weed, coke, heroin, mushrooms, anti-psychotic meds, and Nyquil with chicken wings right before bed.
Scott Oglesby
July 4, 2009 at 7:37 am
Scott Oglesby, it’s the wings that’ll get ya… gotta watch out. What is mdma and where is it sold?
Ramblin' Rooster
July 4, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Ecstasy, but over here (apparently) It is pure and sold in a crystalline powder. If you’ve ever done x, it’s like that but a thousand times better, purer. –not that I’d know. Cause I don’t.
Scott Oglesby
July 5, 2009 at 6:45 am
Scott Oglesby, I don’t know anything about it either. Please send me several thousand pounds.
Ramblin' Rooster
July 6, 2009 at 4:11 am
I’d like to just have my camera ready when you get that delivery.
Claire Collins
July 6, 2009 at 5:04 am
Claire Collins, you think that’d be a good shot, huh?
Ramblin' Rooster
July 6, 2009 at 5:19 am
If I want to blackmail you it is.
Claire Collins
July 6, 2009 at 5:28 am
Claire Collins, blackmail me for what, my rooster eggs?
Ramblin' Rooster
July 7, 2009 at 3:27 am
Is that all you have to offer? I reserve the right to withhold the blackmail until you have something juicy to keep secret.
Claire Collins
July 7, 2009 at 3:46 am
Claire Collins, isn’t it the responsibility of the blackmailer to make demands, not the blackmailee to offer up secrets? What kind of weirdo blackmail scheme is this?
Ramblin' Rooster
July 7, 2009 at 4:03 am
It’s um… the kind I thought a rooster would fall for.
Can I take the picture anyway?
Claire Collins
July 7, 2009 at 4:13 am
Claire Collins, you may take as many picture, form as many angles as you’d like.
Ramblin' Rooster
July 8, 2009 at 3:08 am
Do you ever get the urge to throw some shit around, in classic rockstar fashion?
I do, but since my credit card is being used to secure the room, it’s never more than a thought.
I have, however, rebelliously cracked the window open and fired up in a non-smoking room.
Go me.
Capitalist Lion Tamer
July 5, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Capitalist Lion Tamer, I do get the urge to rockstar remodel, rearrange the furniture, turn the pictures upside down in the frame, stuff like that, but I’m with you, not enough to pay for it. I guess that’s why only the privileged get to destroy. I’m proud you fired up though, that’s a sign they haven’t won completely.
Ramblin' Rooster
July 6, 2009 at 4:22 am