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Archive for September 2008

Talk Show Hosts Need A Good Ass Kickin’

with 6 comments

You have to realize there was a time in the world where people didn’t worship and idolize celebrities. A place where real people, average people, everyday real people could be role models. You have to remember. Please tell your kids to tell their kids, so that we never forget. 

In a small way, I think the “late night talk show” has destroyed the honor of celebrity in America. I can’t tell you how many of my favorite actors or musicians have fallen in my eyes and in my admiration after seeing them on one of these shows. You see an actor you like in movies, let’s say. You’re entertained by the character they play, so when they’re on ‘Late Night with Joe Blow’ you tune in kind of excited to see your star. I mean, you are a fan. Then he/she starts to talk and suddenly your smile turns upside down when you realize they’re a total schmuck, or a loony tune, or a psycho,  or a religious freak. Now it sucks, because it’s hard to go back to watch their movies knowing that they’re a worthless human who doesn’t deserve the luck they’ve received. It’s like seeing grandma naked, you just can’t get it out of your mind no matter how hard you try.

I really don’t know how the “talk show” came about. To me, the idea on paper sounds horrible. “Hey, let’s have a show where we have actors come on and sit in a chair and talk to somebody who sits behind a desk. The actor could use his/her appearancefor shameless advertising and the host could ask prearranged, preapproved questions that no one in the audience can relate to.” Brilliant.

“Hey Betty, tell us about your horse ranch in Montana.” I’ve never even been to Montana, you know? Plus, I couldn’t care less about the $500,000 thoroughbred you just bought. You just spent more money on a horse you ride once a year, than I’ll make my whole life. Hey wait, this is fascinating. Please Betty, tell me more. Tell me about your summer home in Paris, or the nine closets of designer shoes you have, all of which cost more than my car. Tell me where you get your hair done, or a hilarious inside joke with another rich, jetsetter friend that’s about as funny as the amount of money you get paid to read lines. My favorite though, is when Betty tells us how hard it is to be her. How a man tried to take her picture when she came out of the spa, or a fan asked for an autograph in the bathroom. Hey, Betty, I have panhandlers ask me for money at least once a week and I’m not rich nor that put out by it. Deal with it. They’re called humans and they’re everywhere. Have another drink to wash down the rest of those pills.

A desk? Give me a break. You’re not at work. You’re not the boss. Most hosts cower to the popular, famous guest. Sure, there’s been some moments here and there of conflict, but few and far between, almost forgotten. It wouldn’t make sense to be controversial. You need the “big names” to book your show so people will watch. It’s like Christmas morning with transparent boxes and gift wrapping, it’s not exciting when you can see right through it.

I’ve saved the best, (worst?) part for last. When you’re watching the show, regardless if it’s a commercial break to come back with the guest or the interview, (and I use that term lightly) is over, just as they cut away or the cameras zoom back, the host leans over for “private words” with the guest. WTF?!?! Are we not worthy of your off the cuff and probably only real conversation? Isn’t that the whole reason we tuned in to your show? To hear you people talk? What could they possibly be saying? It drives me crazy!

If I had to guess, it’s either something terrible perverted or it’s “I don’t have anything to say really, I just wanted to piss off Ramblin’ Rooster.”

Well congratulations late night talk show host. You’re doing a great job. God help you if you ever get out of your limousine in my neighborhood.

It’s probably just something perverted.

Egg On,

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

September 30, 2008 at 3:24 am