Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

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Two Kinds of People

with 16 comments

I’m sure you’ve been made subject to, or even used the phrase yourself, “There are two kinds of people in this world”. Which by the way, is high on my list of favorite cliches. Probably right under “Ugly as Homemade Soap” and if you’ve ever seen/used homemade soap you know exactly how true that cliche is.

The reason I’m such a fan of the “Two Kinds” bit is the vast and complex opposing philosophies of the statement. It seems so simple, so small, so inclusive, definitive of grouping us together, connecting us by an extremely small difference. “You either like the potato salad or you don’t”. It’s 50/50, one or the other, in or out, yea or nay, none of this or that or circumstantial, extenuating reasons, nothin’.

It’s very comforting to be on one of only two sides when looking at a population of 6 billion people, (or whatever the count is this second). The flip side of this harmonious, new found peace is the harsh reality of knowing that the two sides is an ever changing, infinite combination of non-stop variables. Further examination lets our logical brains realize that I can like spicy food AND Barry Manilow, that I can enjoy bull riding AND tear up watching a chick-flick. Plus we find that our new ally, whom shared our passion for fruit filled pastries, to the point that they’d give their life along side our own fighting those opposed to fruitfilled pastries is a huge fan of polka music! Now how can they be our comrade?

So, where does that leave us? Everywhere and nowhere, but I have made it a goal to try and come up with a “Two Kinds” that could be applied universally across the board. Something that could divide us for the final battle, when ever that day may arrive, so that we could find those with whom we could see eye to eye with. What I came up with was this: “There are two kinds of people on this earth. Those who like whole milk and those who like skim milk”.

Now I know you’re already attacking this statement, punching holes through it like a paper bag in the shower, but just stop a second and think about it. Let the milk be merely a metaphor of your choosing while also allowing the characteristics of the person who would choose one from the other come into play. Skim milk is not like whole milk, in fact the only thing they have in common is the word “milk” in the title. The contrast is greater than all other opposites imaginable.

Skim is watery, thin, relatively tasteless, struggles holding onto the color white and is sought after for it’s “healthiness”, “goodness” and “purity”. Whole is heavy, thick, rich, used for cooking, baking, etc. and is fatty, dangerous and looked upon as “excessive”, “unnecessary” and “risky”. People who choose skim are uptight, nervous, preoccupied, judgemental, obsessive, shallow and materialistic. People who choose whole are loose, lazy, lackadaisical, smelly, slow, absent minded, unconcerned and reckless. I’m sure you can find exceptions to the rule, but who couldn’t out of 7 billion people? That’s like trying to get wet in the middle of the ocean, but my point is that the road of skimmers and wholers is a divided one. A road that doesn’t cross, mingle or connect with each other. Parallel roads that start from the unknown and stretch into infinity. So the next time you meet someone new or want to take your current relationship with a friend or lover to the next level, instead of looking through their medicine cabinet or rifling through their panty drawer, open up the fridge and see what kind of milk they’re packing. If it’s soy then please ask them to get back on their spaceship and return to whatever planet they came from.

Egg On,

Ramblin’ Rooster


Written by Ramblin' Rooster

September 9, 2008 at 4:09 am

Posted in Humor

Tagged with , , , ,

16 Responses

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  1. so true so true…damn you are dead spot on…keep on ramblin…by the way I linked you on my blog hope that is ok


    October 3, 2008 at 5:57 pm

  2. Thanks Gina! I’m honored to be linked on your blog and I appreciate the encouragement. Take care.

    Ramblin' Rooster

    October 4, 2008 at 4:12 am

  3. I like this post.. Very true as I see it.. LOL I like the way you write.. til l8er


    October 23, 2008 at 4:03 pm

  4. wavemaker2, my official, most favorite commentator.
    Thank you for the compliment and I’m glad you liked my post. I like having your comments.

    Ramblin' Rooster

    October 24, 2008 at 4:23 am

  5. I saw a really great cartoon on the subject, can’t reference the artist/author, they are on “reddit” often. Called “Two Kinds of People”, showing military, police, hospital workers, celebrities, McDonalds workers, all with the same mental reprise “Us, and the general public”.


    February 1, 2009 at 8:51 pm

    • Michael, why can’t you reference the creator(s), are you in grave danger? I checked it out, (thanks to your hint). I can agree with the cartoon. I’ve never had any of those jobs, (is celebrity a job?) and can only imagine the other side of the fence, (maybe not so much the McEmployees). I think cop would be the worst. So many people just generally loathe cops simply for being cops. Thanks for your continued interest and sharing.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      February 2, 2009 at 4:03 am

  6. I couldn’t “reference” – refer the reader or consulter to another source of information (as a book or passage) the creator, because I couldn’t remember!

    I’m always in grave danger and have become quite blaise about the whole experience.


    February 2, 2009 at 4:11 am

    • Michael, you’re amazing. Even in your “loss of memory” you still led me right to it! I know that you will live forever, because it’s only the ones that shrug off the touch of death that cheat it. I’ve read about you, unemployed dad by day, black ops commando by night. It must be very exciting!

      Ramblin' Rooster

      February 2, 2009 at 11:32 pm

  7. Skim milk. To be healthy, you have to derive the product of all it’s character.

    It’s like being served some toast and given a yellow highlighter to “butter” the bread.

    Awesome post.

    Capitalist Lion Tamer

    May 15, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    • Capitalist Lion Tamer, it’s like ten thousand highlighters when all you need is a knife… whoops, sorry. Thanks for the awesome comment.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 16, 2009 at 4:42 am

  8. Good post, RR. Eloquent, yet easy to ‘get’.

    What are your veiws on Lactaid? Or, God forbid, Soy ‘milk’? Milk doesn’t come from beans, goddammit!

    Oh, I found a reply you made a few days ago. For some reason it ended up in my Spam que. I didn’t want you to think I was ignoring you


    June 4, 2009 at 8:40 am

    • madamebitters, that’s me eloquent and easy to get. I’m not all that into lactic scene. I enjoy an occasional glass, but I’m not out in the barn till three in the morning begging Bessy for “one more”. There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe in soy and those who vomit sitting down. Thank you for finding me swimming in the sea of spam. Might kind of you. Thanks for commenting.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      June 5, 2009 at 3:40 am

  9. You have a great blog, really it is awesome. I love your sense of humor. I am enjoying it a lot and I see that you keep in good company with Claire and alantru. Thanks for the great blog.

    Eric Richardville

    July 1, 2009 at 3:43 am

  10. Very true. Judging by my fridge I am whole, or to put it better, fat. LOL.

    Eric Richardville

    July 1, 2009 at 3:49 am

    • Eric Richardville, there is no such thing as fat, only you and them or them and you or us and them.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      July 3, 2009 at 3:29 am

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