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Get Out of My Space Motorcycle!

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I’m not a motorcycle enthusiast. Meaning I don’t ride or have ever ridden a motorcycle. I have some hours logged on a scooter in my youth, but I’m sure that doesn’t count. So let’s forget I even mentioned the whole scooter thing.

It’s fair to say that I probably harbor a little jealousy for those who live free and ride the hog, (even the weekend posers). There’s a small part of me that sees them passing me on the highway and wishes I was the reckless, carefree individual roaring down the road. Alas, I am not though. So does this rant stem from envy? Who knows, you tell me.

I don’t think motorcycles should be allowed to park in parking stalls. Period. Ever. I don’t mean that it should be discouraged or looked down upon or something weak or silly like that. I’m saying it should be against the law for a motorcycle to park in a parking stall. First offense, major fine. Second offense, jail time. Third offense, forced to watch monster truck crush bike.

There’s nothing more frustrating than thinking you see an open spot across the parking lot, working your way around to get to it, only to find that a motorcycle is using the 9′ x 18′ space with it’s puny dimensions. Isn’t it blatantly obvious that this space was not designed for you? A blind canary could tell you that.

Doesn’t it go against the anti-establishment of the whole bikers lifestyle anyway to conform to parking stripes? I thought the whole movement of being a biker was to slough off the rules and do whatever you felt. How could you give into paint? Park your motorcycle on the sidewalk, or in the grass, or by the door or in the hallway, I couldn’t care less, just get that bike out of my parking stall.

Bikers get to be cool all the time while driving, or rather riding, so why can’t they continue being cool when parking? You know it would piss off just about every car and pickup driver there is. It’d be just another thing for them to see that they themselves couldn’t do or would be too scared to try. To me that’s the whole reason to ride a motorcycle… to be cool. That and giving the bird to “the Man”.

If you’re a biker and reading this makes you angry or causes you to be hateful, I urge you to let it go and tune in tomorrow when I attack the overly cautious SUV drivers. It should make everything OK.

Egg On,

Ramblin’ Rooster


Written by Ramblin' Rooster

September 18, 2008 at 6:31 pm

Posted in Humor

Tagged with , , , ,

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