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Itchy Face Syndrome

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One of the great things in life is the unavoidable, uncontrollable, dark comedy that plagues each of our lives. For me, the itchy face seems to be the most common and most often running gag in my life. It never fails, that if I place myself in the worst possible situation, my face starts to itch.

I’m talking a real itch, not just some fly by night, shooing a fly, gentle breeze itch. We’re talking hemorrhoidal, poison ivy, gold bond medicated powder itch. I know, I know, you’re thinking it’s a mental thing or that I need to see a dermatologist. Just wait, let’s get into it a bit.

A good example… I moved furniture for about three years before making a career change. Everyday, all day long I moved furniture. Whether it was to someones house, around the warehouse or setting up the showroom floor. In all the time I moved furniture, never did I get the itch face, but if I moved even a chair for someone, in private society, the itching happened.

Now to clarify, the situation has to be bad, like moving a reclining sofa down a flight of stairs, or hoisting a heavy box over my head while teetering on a ladder. The scene has to be dire and it helps if there’s at least an 90% chance of bodily harm of property damage. That’s when the face itches.

To discredit those who might write this off as a mental to physical manifestation that, let’s just say, stems from a deep subconscious hate for moving furniture and that doing it for friends or family brings back a bad feeling that makes me itch, it doesn’t just happen when I move furniture. Besides, I liked moving furniture. Better than shoveling manure…

The other occurrence is when I’m working on something or doing something that involves filthy hands. Again, it usually helps if the substance on my hands is of the utmost vile and disgusting substance, preferably harmful to inhale orto come in contact with sensitive skin, (the eyes, nostrils, ears, lips, etc.). Here’s a short list of my favorites, gasoline, varnish and finish, paint, industrial grease, scum and muck from piping and plumbing, silt from gutters and the most popular, feces.

Before you start gagging and making vulgar assumptions, the feces comes from walking two dogs, (because I’m a firm believer in picking up your dog’s business) and back in the days of changing babies diapers. But, yeah, feces never fails in triggering the itchy face.

It can be annoying and is definitely a nuisance, but ultimately it’s good for a laugh. I always like to think someone’s enjoying my discomfort, otherwise it’d all be for not and what fun would that be? So the next time you lift something heavy or stick your hand in something gross, try not to think of the itchy face.

Egg On,
Ramblin’ Rooster


Written by Ramblin' Rooster

September 18, 2008 at 2:21 am

Posted in Humor

Tagged with , , , ,

2 Responses

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  1. Just wanted to say that I get an itchy face and also other parts of my body itch when I’m under stress. I think its all to do with nerve endings. Over the last few weeks I’ve been itching constantly as I’m shortly moving house and obviously the stress is mounting. So you are not alone!


    March 12, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    • Chris, you couldn’t be more right. That is why I had all my nerve endings removed several years ago because of my high stress level life. Since then I have never had even the occasional itch. Thank you for your camaraderie and comments.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      March 17, 2009 at 2:20 am

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