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Archive for October 6th, 2008

Haunted House Fun, I Always Miss It

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My step-daughter’s birthday is October 15th. For the last couple of years we’ve been going to haunted houses for her birthday celebration. This year she brought a friend and her brother brought a friend, so including my daughter we’ve got five kids, all under the age of 13. Prime age for being scared.

I don’t know if it’s because the boy had a friend this year, but he and his friend decided to “act tough” this year, declaring how they “weren’t scared of nothin’!” The step-daughter’s friend was the exact opposite. She was terrified and moments away from having a severe mental/emotional breakdown. Inspired by the boys and wanting to pray on the nrevous wreck child, I also choose this year to declare that “kids would go first”, especially since the boys were so brave.

After waiting in line forever, we got on the trailer/hay ride that took us deep into the woods to where you have to wait in another line. Though, this one is shorter, moves faster and offers the delight of hearing people already inside the trail screaming and shrieking. Suddenly the boys became less and less tough. With every inch that we got closer to the entrance, the further back in line they seemed to be. The girl who was already terrified told my wife, “I don’t want to go. I’ll just wait at the exit for you guys. I really don’t want to go.” This sure seemed like it was shaping up to be a lot of fun at the expense of others, children no doubt. If you can’t be entertained by the fear of your children, what’s the point of having them? That’s what mother use to say.

By the time it was our turn to go, the kids were whipped into a panic. No one would go inside first. Finally I had to volunteer to go, or otherwise the people behind us in-line would’ve probably turned violent. I have to admit, I hate to be startled. I’m not scared by haunted houses or freaked out by gore, but I hate little shocks to my heart. I alleviate being startled by plugging my ears. Taking the volume/sound out of people trying to scare you, takes the shock away from your heart.

So, just as last year and the year before that, we ran through the trail with everyone holding on to the person in front of them, in a row like the world’s longest bobsled team or a speed metal conga line. It was over before anyone peed themselves, (which always makes the drive back to town more pleasant in the nostrils).

What sucks is I missed all the fun again. I never get to see the kids screaming, jumping, hiding or running away. I’m always stuck with recon, the sap who has to trigger the traps.

Next year I think I’ll try breaking off from the human worm, running ahead and hiding till the herd passes, then slip in behind and get to enjoy some of the fun.

Egg On,

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

October 6, 2008 at 4:00 am