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Archive for October 15th, 2008

If You Liked Revolving Door, You’ll Love Automatic Door

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This is a pseudo follow up to the piece I had about having fun in the revolving door. Whereas I stand by the statements I made, there is one door that is much more fun to play with. It would be the automatic door. Just so we’re clear, (or if you’d like to argue my name for it) the automatic door is the one usually found at grocery stores, where a person steps on the mat and the door opens automatically.

Quick disclaimer: These information is based on experiences had long ago. No one should try this at home. What’s that? Your home doesn’t have an automatic door? Well then you should try in a public place.

OK, so now that I’m liable and the lawsuits are piling up before this is even published, let’s go over the steps.

Step 1 – Pick a store that you don’t frequent and could accept being banned from.

Step 2 – Enter the store during a time that seems somewhere in between “the rush” and the time of “no one around”. (Note: You need innocent people to make this work)

Step 3 – Buy something at the store. People seem to pay less attention when you’re spending money and you’ll have a greater chance of being let go with a “firm talking to” if you were to caught.

Step 4 – On your way out the automatic door, pretend you’re stretching, yawning or just plain reach above your head. Above the door is a box, on the box is a switch, this switch controls the door’s power. Flip the switch.

Step 5 – Leave the immediate area, but stay within viewing sight of the door. If you’re a smoker, this is an excellent time to light up. If you’re not, pretend you’re on the phone, or as though you’re going over your receipt, (I like to add a confused face to drive home the impression I’m stupid and incapable of doing mischievous acts)

Step 6 – Stand and watch the people try to leave through the non-operable door.

Step 7 – Enjoy.

It really is amazing. Some people freak out and go to another door, thinking this one is broken. Others will get mad and push the door open. Some will walk into it. A few people will actually report the problem to an employee. It’s good fun, not too harmful and best of all it’s FREE. I guess you might be able to call it vandalism, but I bet you’d have a hard time getting a conviction in court.

Anyway, gotta a run. I’m late for a meeting with my parole officer.

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

October 15, 2008 at 4:07 am