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Archive for October 16th, 2008

Being Naked Cool, Naked Volleyball Not Cool

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Being naked is just plain neat. I feel sorry people who don’t enjoy occasional nudity. They must be really unhappy with their bodies. Being naked outdoors is an extra special treat. I think it’s because it’s so bizarre, unorthodox or the change of perspective. In my own personal life, I don’t get naked very often. Usually just for a shower or changing. So when I’m alone in the house and get out of the shower, it’s a feeling of total freedom to walk naked into the kitchen from the bathroom.

Having said that, let’s get to trashing nudists. Every time I see a bit on TV about nudists, it seems like it’s always the same four old guys. Whether the show is “crazy weddings”, “out of control rednecks”, or “nudists on parade” the stars of the segment are always people no one wants to see naked. Why are nudists so ugly?

Now don’t try and tell me about the time you were in Europe at a beach and saw some hot person on a towel. Those people aren’t nudists. They might be nude or partially nude, but there’s no statement behind the exposure. It’s not an exhibition and their not campaigning for “nude rights”.

Why do nudists demand to be naked anyway? They act like they’re being repressed, discriminated against or suffering from some kind of injustice. If I walked into my office and saw a 70 year old man’s testicles or a 400 pound woman bending over, I’d be the one who was being denied my human rights, but not the right to vomit.

That’s the part that I don’t understand, the angle of protest that televised nudists often take. They make it seem like they’re defending the right to be naked. “Hey pregnant, loose-skinned man! Anyone can be naked, just not at anywhere they want to be.” I don’t need people who should be legally made to wear clothes, beating the pavement, knocking on doors to ensure a “nude America”. I don’t want to buy a cheeseburger from a naked kid, or shop for a car on a lot full of slimy salesman flapping in the wind. How about being pulled over by a cop who stands at the car window writing a ticket and as you reach out to sigh the ticket you grab… well you get the idea. Think about all the strangers in your life and situations you might find yourself in. Now make everyone nude. Gets disturbing pretty quick, don’t it.

Some things just don’t need nudity. I know the Greeks were into the whole “naked Olympics” scene, but I’m not Greek, nor an Olympic athlete. Volleyball, golf, horseshoes, bowling and every other sport/recreation is not going to be enhanced by the participants going naked.

Perhaps you’re asking yourself, “I wonder if Ramblin’ Rooster would feel this way if a magma-hot lady was naked painting the barn next door?”

And I would say, “That’d probably be alright.”

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

October 16, 2008 at 3:26 am