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Archive for October 22nd, 2008

Sex Yourself?

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If you hang out on the planet long enough, you’re bound to cross paths with someone who doesn’t like you or you’ll end up doing something that makes someone angry. It’s just par for the course. Quite likely you have already had this experience. Perhaps some of you even experience this on a daily basis. In this life, it’s hard to avoid being told by someone, at one time or another, in so many words of less, to “Go f#ck yourself!”

It’s impossible to venture a guess as to what your response was, but did you ever consider it? Now, I’m talking in a hypothetical, science fiction, type way. Not some bizarre, neck breaking, ropes and pulleys, thank-goodness-those-yoga-classes-finally-paid-off, kind of way.

Seriously, after you get done flushing and rinsing the vomit from your mouth, ask yourself, “Would I be happy in a relationship with myself?”

Imagine dating a clone of yourself, (of the opposite sex for those to which it applies. Although, if you were sleeping with your same-sex clone, would that be considered gay? That’s a subject for a different blog.) Try to think about it with a totally open mind. Pretend like it’s OK to think of crazy things. The fact that it’s impossible should keep those of you who are scared to try it at bay. It’s an interesting thing to think about, because once you get over the “weirdness” of it, it can be a truly deep insight to who you really are and quite possibly help you make a more informed relationship decision in the future, (providing that you are still on the market, as they say).

Here are some questions to consider:

1. Would you be happy or would you be bored? Do you think the two of you would get along great, or get on each others nerves. Do you like for your mate to like what you like or do you thrive on conflict and confrontation? Do you like to come up with ideas of what to do, or do you like to choose from a list that the other one provides?

2.  Would you fall into the same pitfalls and shortcomings as in your previous relationships? For example, if you are one who has a hard time expressing yourself and sharing, do you think you could tell yourself how you really feel? Could you trust yourself more? Would you risk more for yourself, go out on a limb more? Would you take greater chances?

3. Would the sex be great? Would you be uninhibited and wild, living out every fantasy you’ve ever had or would it be predictable, monotonous, dull and bland? How much control do you have? Do you want? Do you need? Are you the one who asks or do you need to be told? Would you be uncomfortable being naked in front of yourself?

4. Would you ultimately become bored once the “honeymoon” was over? Would you start to analyze, scrutinize, become critical and find faults in yourself that you never knew were there or aren’t really even there to begin with?

5. Would you cheat on yourself? Would you lie to yourself? Would you hide things from yourself?

You can get as deep as you want to go, don’t be afraid, it can be very therapeutic. Or it can make you remove all the mirrors in your house and force you to sit in the corner, rocking back and forth, eating pancake mix out of a box with a turkey baster, rubbing a toilet bowl brush on your head.

If you have ever seen those movies that deal in the subject of clones, who start to become their “own person” as time passes, because they’re living a different life now from yours, with different experiences and you want to try to integratethat into your fantasy equation, please feel free.

So the next time some one says, “Go f#ck yourself!”, just smile and say, “If I only I could, if only I could.”

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

October 22, 2008 at 4:16 am