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HR Saved My Life

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I’m a full grown man. I even have the ear hair to prove it. I’ve had some adventures and some life changing experiences. I’ve done some crazy things and stuff I regret. I’ve made wise decisions and bad decisions. I’ve learned from previous mistakes and continued making others. One thing I never thought I’d ever have to encounter in my adult live was being told how to wash my hands.

The office I work at put up signs recently in all the bathrooms and in the “kitchen areas” after several complaints about a this single employee who didn’t wash his hands after defecating. Ladies you may now let out a sigh of relief and “high-five” one another as you collect your money from any bets that might have been placed on the fact that something so disgusting could have been perpetrated by a woman. Anyway, the human resources department of my office elected to put these signs up everywhere there was a sink.

A quick side thought. Human resources? Human? Is there an Inhuman Resource? Animal Resource? Mineral Resource? Why don’t they call it the “Whining Baby” Resource? Or the “My Boss Wants To Sleep With Me But I Need To Negotiate A Company Car Before Considering” Department? I’ve always thought that was a silly name/concept. Sorry to slow you down…

This sign comes from the Minnesota Department of Health. Sadly, I guess they don’t have that department in the state that I live in, so we’re forced to “get edgumacated somes where else.”

 I love the child like quality of the art. The soft lines, the size of the hands, the odd ’70s color theme and the angry germ characters make it a PSA masterpiece. The detail you’re missing out on is the germ characters in Step 1 wearing expressions of happy-chaos. They love being dirty and can’t wait to make you sick. Step 2 they are scared and frightened by the mysterious soap falling from the sky. Step 3 they’re choking and dying, literally being driven away. Seems kind of violent for the child-like poster. Don’t get me wrong, this flyer has very “handy” advice, but let’s over critique it.

1. It’s speaking to you as though you are the world’s biggest moron. If that’s the case, you’d never be able to complete any of these steps, because it doesn’t tell you to turn the water on. Now I don’t know about you, but if you leave the world’s biggest moron alone in the bathroom, tell him to wet his hands, things can get unsanitary awfully fast.

2. Keep in mind, “world’s biggest moron”. There’s no steps to take if soap and paper towels are not available. If you don’t know how to wash your hands, you surely aren’t smart enough to improvise in the event of a hand washing emergency.

3. Just like the missing instructions to begin, there’s nothing that tells you what to do after you’ve washed your hands. You turn off the water and I guess stand there until rescue teams find you or the white light descends upon you.

4. I love the title, Be A Germ-Buster. They’re trying to sell it with pride, like it’s bragging rights, as if you’d use this point as a highlight of your life’s achievements. “Yes ladies, it’s true. I AM a germ-buster!”

Also, if you are taking the precaution to turn off the water with the paper towel, shouldn’t you open the bathroom door with the paper towel? When the hell was the last time a door handle was cleaned?

Anyway, thanks human resources for saving my life. If it hadn’t been for you, I might have gone swimming in the toilet and drowned.

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster


Written by Ramblin' Rooster

October 28, 2008 at 4:51 am

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