Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of

Archive for November 12th, 2008

Does My Butt Look Big?

with 2 comments

I can not think of a more idiotic statement than, “Does my butt look big?” or some form thereof. I’ve never been a woman, or at least I don’t remember that far back, so maybe I don’t understand. Women seem to really obsessover the way they look, (I know, major breakthrough concept). I guess what I’m trying to say is, that if they spend their lives always examining themselves in mirrors, why would they be lost in something so obvious as to the size of their butts?

It seems to stem deep into the psyche of women, this whole butt dilemma. It’s been widely discussed that women are subjected to fall victim to, being almost forced, to develop self-esteem issues because of the pop culture scene. Be it magazines, movies, television, or music videos, the industry standard is a woman must present herself as a slim, curvy, athletic built woman to be considered beautiful, (even though much effort as been put forth to prove different. Guess they didn’t listen Sir Mix-A-Lot). Which doesn’t leave much room for a big butt, (no pun intended). I’ve always thought it was weird that women look at lingerie catalogues filled with scantly dressed women, but I’m going to save that, (and more) for tomorrow’s blog.

My wife loves to watch those make-over shows and the “go buy yourself a new wardrobe” shows, so I know that it is possible to wear clothes that are unflattering to your body shape. However, you just can’t hide from the truth. If you have a large butt, it’s because you have a large butt. It’s not an article of clothing attacking your fat cells, changing your physical makeup, creating a “new butt”. It’s the butt you’ve always had. It’s the butt you spend all day, everyday with. You know, the one you’re sitting on.

Why can’t the large butt owners recognize and comprehend the size? If someone asks me if an ant is small or big, I can tell the ant is small. The same goes if you were to change the question from an ant to an elephant. The elephant is big. I think I was equippedwith this knowledge at a very young age, (the ability to judge size through a relative scale based on general comparison) around the same time I was studying colors and shapes. It doesn’t matter how many times you change your pants or how many different angles you look at it from, a big butt will always be big regardless your attempts to fool your eyes. That’s the power of the big butt. It shines through no matter what you do to hide it.

Finally, what does it really matter? If you have a big butt don’t fight it, just love it. I’m sure someone out there would be willing to help you out if you need it. A big butt doesn’t define who you are or where you’re going, (maybe where you’ve been). You should embrace your butt and be thankful that you have it. There are a lot of people in this world that suffer from “Concave Butt Syndrome”, (sometimes referred to as CBS). Millions suffer lonely nights at the club because they are stricken with “No-Ass-itis”. So rejoice, give your big butt a hug and for the love of Mary, stop asking what it looks like.

I’m sure you saw this coming, but you know I can’t resist… Does this blog make my butt look big? Or am I just an ass?

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

November 12, 2008 at 5:46 am