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Archive for November 14th, 2008

Random Thoughts

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I’ve always been against the idea of therapy. Mainly because I don’t believe that someone who has read books and taken tests can help anyone who has genuine problems. A therapist is only human right? The other reason is that if you place a space at a strategic location, (between the “E” and the “R”) you can spell The Rapist.

Women who show a lot of cleavage don’t like when you look at it or they pretend they don’t like it, but really love it, because deep down inside they suffer from low self-esteem and nothing cures low self-esteem faster than being sought after in hopes of you being a slut.

I’m all for sex-education and especially the disease awareness side, so I get the idea of why they’d teach how to apply a condom, but why do they always use a banana? Who’s erection is in the shape of a banana? Why not use carrots or cucumbers or even a vibrator? If you’re erection is in the shape of a banana for more than four hours seek medical attention immediately. And if you find yourself on the receiving end of a banana shaped erection, run away, there’s something wrong with it.

After watching the ‘Da Vinci Code’ I found out the symbol for male is “^” and the symbol for female is “V”. I couldn’t disagree more. If you’ve ever been to a hardware store trying to buy plumbing/electrical fittings/adaptors/etc. parts, they always ask if you need male of female parts. Male is cylindrical and female is the receiving part. So basically, men are poles and women are holes.

Dog biscuits that state on the box that they have four, (or however many) different flavors, all taste the same. The coloring, shape and design is all for human trickery. Dogs can’t buy snacks. They don’t have any money.

No matter how crappy or happy you feel, someone is doing better or worse than you. You can never be the best. Even if you find yourself surrounded by people claiming you are the best, it’s simply because they haven’t found the person better than you yet, but rest assure they will. Does that make you sad? Don’t forget some is sadder than you. You just can’t win. Accept we are all average with highlights, bloopers, outtakes, deleted scenes and gag reels.

Prescription drug commercials never report on the effects of the people that took placebos. Do they die? Freak out and get angry? Do they cry? How would you feel if you thought you were being medicated for an ailment only to find out you were being duped into taking a sugar pill? “Hey guinea pig, here’s your $50. Thanks for letting us lie to you and not help you with your problem.”

Lists of random thoughts usually stem from people who can’t write a continuous article/story/piece/etc.

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

November 14, 2008 at 6:35 am