Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

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Ask Ramblin’ Rooster

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I’ve always wanted to be an advice columnist. Not enough to actually work at it or strive to make it a reality, but just enough to let it swirl around in the back of mind from time to time. Now I figure I can do whatever I want, so I wrote some questions and answers. Have a look.

Dear Ramblin’ Rooster,

My girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me as much as I would like. I’ve tried everything, but nothing seems to work. What say you?

Signed,

Lonely Lover

South Dakota, Michigan

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Dear Lonely Lover,

You said she doesn’t want to have sex with you, so who does she want to have sex with? Just kidding… Two words: Chloroform, prison. The chloroform will allow you your wish and prison is where you’ll end up when you get caught.

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Dear Ramblin’ Rooster,

My kids watch teeny bopper movies and TV shows all the time. Most of the time I don’t pay attention to them, ’cause they’re stupid, but sometimes I find myself really enjoying them and being sucked in to where I like them more than my kids. Does this make me creepy?

Signed,

TV Confusion

Long Beach Island, Nebraska

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Dear TV Confusion,

Yes.

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Dear Ramblin’ Rooster,

I write a blog every night that doesn’t get much traffic and hardly any comments. Sometimes only one person will read one of my blogs. I want to republish it with a new title because it seems like such a waste, but that also seems like cheating. Sometimes I don’t even feel like writing, but I read somewhere that you have to pick a frequency and stick to it. What should I do?

Signed,

Bland Blogger

Los Westdaleangeles, Maine

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Dear Bland Blogger,

Stop whining and focus on killing yourself.

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Hmmm… maybe I shouldn’t be an advice columnist.

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

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Written by Ramblin' Rooster

November 20, 2008 at 6:04 am

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