Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

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I’ve always wanted to be an advice columnist. Not enough to actually work at it or strive to make it a reality, but just enough to let it swirl around in the back of mind from time to time. Now I figure I can do whatever I want, so I wrote some questions and answers. Have a look.

Dear Ramblin’ Rooster,

My girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with me as much as I would like. I’ve tried everything, but nothing seems to work. What say you?


Lonely Lover

South Dakota, Michigan


Dear Lonely Lover,

You said she doesn’t want to have sex with you, so who does she want to have sex with? Just kidding… Two words: Chloroform, prison. The chloroform will allow you your wish and prison is where you’ll end up when you get caught.


Dear Ramblin’ Rooster,

My kids watch teeny bopper movies and TV shows all the time. Most of the time I don’t pay attention to them, ’cause they’re stupid, but sometimes I find myself really enjoying them and being sucked in to where I like them more than my kids. Does this make me creepy?


TV Confusion

Long Beach Island, Nebraska


Dear TV Confusion,



Dear Ramblin’ Rooster,

I write a blog every night that doesn’t get much traffic and hardly any comments. Sometimes only one person will read one of my blogs. I want to republish it with a new title because it seems like such a waste, but that also seems like cheating. Sometimes I don’t even feel like writing, but I read somewhere that you have to pick a frequency and stick to it. What should I do?


Bland Blogger

Los Westdaleangeles, Maine


Dear Bland Blogger,

Stop whining and focus on killing yourself.


Hmmm… maybe I shouldn’t be an advice columnist.

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster


Written by Ramblin' Rooster

November 20, 2008 at 6:04 am

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