Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of RoosterEgg.com

Alcohol & Vomit, Projected Not Puddled

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I just got back from visiting my friend “the alcoholic”. He’s a really good one too. He never gets mean, nasty or overly emotional and he never throws up. It’s really quite amazing, but like I said he’s an alcoholic, a professional. I’m not like that. I seem to vomit a lot when drinking, especially when hanging out with him.

So anyway, we were hanging out and sure enough, I started drinking. Not only in large quantities, but also excessively fast. Everything was going fine. I was having a good time taping silverware, plastic bowls, empty beer cans, dominoes, a box of nutter bars and other miscellaneous items to the wall. I even got daring and taped a chair to the wall. It stayed for about a half hour before falling. Next I went to go play the keyboard. I put my head down to start jamming when the alcohol hit me like a truck. A wave of intoxication rushed over me and my stomach instantly turned upside down and sour. The kind of nausea that rumbles your bowels. I went outside, which was freezing by the way, and sat in this broken recliner I found sitting by the trash cans. It was actually pretty nice and ideal for purging my system of the poison. I sat there for quite awhile waiting for the “sickness” to pass. I eventually made it to a bed to pass out. The morning was worse than the evening. I had the dry heaves five or six times, (that’s the first time that’s ever happened to me). Later on, after I got up, my friend “the alcoholic” and I reminisced about all my “bad luck” with drinking. I never really knew just how bad I was at drinking.

Here are a few of my horrible highlights:

-Vomiting in bed, (on several occasions)

-Sleeping on the porch in puddle of vomit

-Vomiting in bathroom and passing out in front of the bathroom door so no one can come in the room, (sadly this happened twice in two different places)

-Vomiting in a someones lap

-Vomiting in people cars

-Vomiting on my own shoes

-Vomiting in a swimming pool

Besides the vomiting, I always manage to pass out or sit in weird places as I wait for the “sickness” to pass. Once I was behind the garage of a friend’s house, sitting in the grass vomiting. I had my eyes closed and I felt something touching my hand. I opened my eyes and a opossum was right in front of me checking out the free smorgasbord. I let out a little hiss and it took off. With all these painful experiences, you think I’d learn my lesson.

I’m thirsty… when do the bars close?

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

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Written by Ramblin' Rooster

November 23, 2008 at 6:12 am

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