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Alcohol & Vomit, Projected Not Puddled

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I just got back from visiting my friend “the alcoholic”. He’s a really good one too. He never gets mean, nasty or overly emotional and he never throws up. It’s really quite amazing, but like I said he’s an alcoholic, a professional. I’m not like that. I seem to vomit a lot when drinking, especially when hanging out with him.

So anyway, we were hanging out and sure enough, I started drinking. Not only in large quantities, but also excessively fast. Everything was going fine. I was having a good time taping silverware, plastic bowls, empty beer cans, dominoes, a box of nutter bars and other miscellaneous items to the wall. I even got daring and taped a chair to the wall. It stayed for about a half hour before falling. Next I went to go play the keyboard. I put my head down to start jamming when the alcohol hit me like a truck. A wave of intoxication rushed over me and my stomach instantly turned upside down and sour. The kind of nausea that rumbles your bowels. I went outside, which was freezing by the way, and sat in this broken recliner I found sitting by the trash cans. It was actually pretty nice and ideal for purging my system of the poison. I sat there for quite awhile waiting for the “sickness” to pass. I eventually made it to a bed to pass out. The morning was worse than the evening. I had the dry heaves five or six times, (that’s the first time that’s ever happened to me). Later on, after I got up, my friend “the alcoholic” and I reminisced about all my “bad luck” with drinking. I never really knew just how bad I was at drinking.

Here are a few of my horrible highlights:

-Vomiting in bed, (on several occasions)

-Sleeping on the porch in puddle of vomit

-Vomiting in bathroom and passing out in front of the bathroom door so no one can come in the room, (sadly this happened twice in two different places)

-Vomiting in a someones lap

-Vomiting in people cars

-Vomiting on my own shoes

-Vomiting in a swimming pool

Besides the vomiting, I always manage to pass out or sit in weird places as I wait for the “sickness” to pass. Once I was behind the garage of a friend’s house, sitting in the grass vomiting. I had my eyes closed and I felt something touching my hand. I opened my eyes and a opossum was right in front of me checking out the free smorgasbord. I let out a little hiss and it took off. With all these painful experiences, you think I’d learn my lesson.

I’m thirsty… when do the bars close?

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster


Written by Ramblin' Rooster

November 23, 2008 at 6:12 am

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