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Archive for November 25th, 2008

Wear Button Fly Jeans, Have Sex

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Do you own a TV? Me too, we have so much in common. I don’t watch a lot of television programming. It takes away from cleaning my rifles and staring out the window, mumbling curse words under my breath. For some odd reason I like having it on in the background while I read. It’s the same principal as listening to the radio and watching television or a sardine and peanut butter sandwich.

I’ve noticed over the last few months or so that there’s a lot of button fly jean commercials on. I was unaware that button fly was making a go at taking over the market and putting the zipper out of business. I guess with the economy the way it is and the market in the shape it’s in, everyone is fighting for survival/superiority.

I don’t care for button fly myself. This next line definitely falls into the “too much information” category, so if you are someone who likes to avoid such things, please skip down to the next paragraph. Anyway, I don’t like button fly jeans because I don’t undo my belt or waist button to go to the bathroom. Trying to do the buttons with your top button, (and belt if applicable) is a real pain.

I am however reconsidering the button fly jeans, solely on the ad campaign that filters through the air waves, penetrating my book and making me look up at the television. Apparently if you wear button fly jeans, you get to have sex.

You might be saying to yourself, I already have sex. Be that as it may, you’re not having hot-button-fly-jeans-sex loser. It goes beyond just the act of intercourse; the jeans turn you into a magnet, an idol, a wanted man by women of the highest level of beauty. All you have to do is put them on and in seconds someone is asking that you take them off. Not only that, it’s crazy, on top of a bus, riding a camel, flying to the moon sex, not your boring Mr. and Mrs. Smith sex.

I wonder why it is that the “think tank” at the advertising companies can’t get around the angle of sex. Surely there’s other ways to market and sell you product besides having them put on and taken off. It’s just so obvious. “What are we selling?” “Jeans.” “I’ve got an idea, let’s have a guy getting out of bed and putting them on. Then show some half naked chick passed out in bed. The guy leaves and the logo pops up.” “Awesome! Great job Jim.” “Throw a tag line on there and we’re done.”

Here’s my jean commercial: Shot opens up of a typical city street. A hot chick is walking down the street naked. She just keeps walking and walking as the camera follows her. Finally she walks off camera and the panning shot ends. Fade to black. The slogan pops up: Jeans, on a naked chick?

Oh no, I’m just as bad as they are.

 Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

November 25, 2008 at 5:32 am