Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of RoosterEgg.com

Was Grandma A Whore?

with 2 comments

I don’t know if I’m on an old person kick or if subconsciously I’m terrified of being an old rooster, but here we are again on the topic of the elderly, grandmas to be more specific. Maybe because it’s the “holiday season” and family seems to be on a lot of people’s minds. Personally, I don’t have any living grandparents, but if I did, I’m sure these thoughts would cross my mind.

Are you familiar with the Pedestal Syndrome? No? That’s probably because I just made it up. The Pedestal Syndrome is the fear or denial of seeing someone you hold to a higher level, who’s locked inside a certain roll, (in your mind) living outside that roll, being an average, everyday human. Some examples: Seeing your overly professional, completely square boss who always wears a tie, (even on Friday) in shorts and a wife beater. Seeing your child’s teacher, whom you thought was very sweet and reserved on “Teacher’s Gone Wild”. Seeing a cop smoke marijuana. There are just some people you can’t see doing anything other than their specific duty/role. Once they come out of the mental image you have, it’s like your brain can’t even process it.

I think grandmas are like that. Grandmas are suppose to be great cooks, super sweet and cute, have endless supplies of candy in secret pockets on their person at all times, and love you no matter what, because you’re her favorite grand child and also because she’s your grandma.

So it’s rather disturbing to me when I see the “Now Generation” living their hedonistic lifestyles and all the weird and wild sexual things people are into. It’s not that I think this is something new, but it’s just so public and proud. Plus there’s the piercing, tattoos and flashing, (seems like everyday I get an e-mail of some girl exposing herself).

Now I’m not disturbed by the behavior, nor am I trying to condone, or support it. I honestly couldn’t care less what people want to do with their bodies. What I find disturbing is the “Now Generation” when they become the “Was Generation”. All the grandmas sitting around the card table swapping stories that would scare a porn star. Thinking about the blurry tattoos in plain sight as grandma still sports the halter top and thong high rider with low rider jeans gives me shivers. What if her medication gets stuck on her tongue stud or goes down the hole in her tongue because it never closed up? If grandma decides to flash or expose her breasts, you can bet that will be my last visit. It’s hard to think about grandma kissing you on the cheek when God only knows where that mouth has been.

Oh hey, wait a minute… I’ll be dead before then. OK, never mind.

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

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Written by Ramblin' Rooster

December 5, 2008 at 6:35 am

2 Responses

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  1. You are a gifted writer and one slick chicken. I’m glad I can read something smart and hilarious, I’m gonna keep checking back here for more shiny little tidbits.

    Reid

    December 5, 2008 at 7:26 am

  2. Reid, thank you for your kind words. Please stop by anytime. I hope not to disappoint!

    Ramblin' Rooster

    December 6, 2008 at 4:07 am


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