Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

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A Cool Boss?

with 8 comments

I guess a lot of people would say having a cool boss would be the greatest thing on earth, but I’m not one of those people. There’s just something creepy about a cool boss.

First of all we need to establish/define a cool boss. In my opinion a cool boss is someone who seems more like a peer than a boss. A cool boss would never give you a hard time about being a couple of minutes late in the morning or coming back from lunch. A cool boss doesn’t give you a hard time if you need to leave early or make you prove and explain in great detail what you are doing if you ask for time off, (even if it’s just for an hour or so). A cool boss lets you wear jeans to the office on Wednesday. A cool boss lets you make personal calls, listen to your MP3 player at work and visit web sites on company time. You can crack a dirty, clean, politically correct or incorrect joke, talk about getting “three sheets to the wind” drunk last night or some crazy, weird encounter you had with someone in college to your cool boss. Basically a cool boss is like a good friend. You don’t fear, scare or become uncomfortable around your cool boss. In fact your cool boss is your best friend in the office. Sometimes you just sit in their office and shoot the breeze with them.

Now you’re really confused as to why I’m not on this train, huh? This is why it’s bad. Cool bosses are destroying professionalism. Cool bosses turn professional people into heroine addicted hippies and those who are already unprofessional begin to thrive and nourish themselves into unprofessional nightmares that can’t be stopped. Before you know it we’ll all be wearing rope sandals and playing hacky sack in the conference room. Lunch will be four hours long, followed by nap time and a client will be “lottery ticket lucky” to ever get anyone on the phone, (but what will they care? They were probably just taking a break from their Frisbee golf game, calling you back from the message you left three months ago.)

Your boss shouldn’t be cool, nor should they be your friend. You should almost wet your pants every time your boss comes around the corner. You should hide your eyes, your personal belongings and every aspect of your personal life from a real boss. Why, you shouldn’t even know the first name of your boss in a perfect world. Bosses are meant to be mean and nasty. They should make you want to work overtime for free because of the stern and firm wake they leave behind just by being in the office. You should want to always stay clear of your boss and would never want to initiate a conversation. A real boss rules with an iron fist, is a dictator and near shows any sign of humanity. Your boss doesn’t eat, sleep or use the bathroom and if by some chance they have a spouse, it’s because they are a business partner for business-social events. If they have kids it’s because of the tax breaks.

To be a real boss you must have a black heart, have lost or sold your soul and above all, without exception can not circulate blood in your veins, (because that’s were the ice goes).

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster


Written by Ramblin' Rooster

December 20, 2008 at 6:26 am

8 Responses

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  1. I’ve had a couple of dictatorial bosses before but none a devil. Yet…


    December 20, 2008 at 7:30 am

  2. Excellent content here and a nice writing style too – keep up the great work!

    Free from Anxiety

    December 20, 2008 at 5:09 pm

  3. pochp, awesome to see you back and on to another blog no less. Give yourself 44 Ramblin’ Rooster dollars, (that, combined with the 88 you received previously, is more than anyone has ever been awarded!). How do you know none of your bosses were/are the devil? Perhaps they were/are just hiding their horns… snoop around their office for a pitchfork, it’s the only way to be sure.
    Thanks for commenting.

    Ramblin' Rooster

    December 21, 2008 at 7:50 am

  4. Free from Anxiety, you are the luckiest person in the world. How do you do it? Appreciate the kind words and thank you for commenting. OK, enough of the formalities, tell us how to be anxiety free!

    Ramblin' Rooster

    December 21, 2008 at 7:53 am

  5. I used to be a cool boss, but not by design and I wouldn’t put up with most of the stuff you described in the first paragraph because I’m pretty hardnosed. I’m just really cool by nature and filtering is a lot of work. Then I had a hard core accountability meeting with my staff that was completely necessary and appropriate. Then one of my reps thought “Hey, you can’t do that, you’re a cool boss”. Then he phoned my boss, who is a metrosexual/cool boss wannabe. And he thought “Heres a chance to show everyone how cool I am, especially the reps who I have pathetic schoolboy crushes on” and he fired me, which wasn’t cool. Then I started this really cool blog with really cool cartoons and started chatting with other really cool bloggers.


    January 5, 2009 at 3:18 pm

    • Michael, sounds like you owe your new found wonderful life to an uncool boss. So I can’t tell if you’re agreeing with me or not. I also would be unable to tell the difference either way. Since you have now officially made it a hat trick, you are awarded 88 Ramblin’ Rooster bucks. Thanks for rockin’ the comments page.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      January 6, 2009 at 4:39 am

  6. That’s the secret origin of unemployed dad. All comic book characters share tragic beginnings if you think about it, Batman, Spiderman, Daredevil, unemployed dad…


    January 6, 2009 at 5:15 am

    • Michael, don’t forget about Superman! His is the most tragic of all, he lost not only his parents, but his whole planet! I’ll definitely accept you as a superhero as you help the world one blog and one comment at a time.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      January 7, 2009 at 5:31 am

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