Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of

Curse This Penis

with 2 comments

Yes, I understand that this “thing” is a urine tube, but they can make it so I don’t need it, (for more information, see Medical Magic pg. 453). I also understand that it’s where babies come from, or part of where they come from. What I don’t understand is what to do with it the 99% of the other time.


I’ve yet to experience being a girl, maybe in my next life, but until then I can only guess as to what having a vagina is like. To me it’s a hole that leads into the body and a hole, an actual, real life hole seems pretty freaky. The male genitalia on the other hand, or in the other hand, (hee-hee-hee)… It’s totally the opposite. Thank you and that concludes today’s first grade anatomy class.


Male genitalia are out in the open just waiting to be blown off. The testicles are like little time bombs that are close to being the most fragile thing on earth. Just a slight graze, with precision contact can cause a chain reaction and a total meltdown. Yet men are willing to bare it all at the drop of a hat.


It’s kind of like the people who own guns, but don’t hunt or go to firing ranges, it’s like why do you have it in the first place. You know you’re just sitting around hoping someone will attack you so you can whip it out and squeeze off some rounds. You don’t own a gun to keep it a case; you show it off like in the action movies. I know that those guys out there that are “swingers” and know all “the moves” are probably using their penis quite a bit, so they don’t really care. For the rest of the 98% of the male population they might be thinking to themselves, what is that droopy thing down there?


The penis is always just hanging around. It’s always there as if it’s waiting for something. Waiting for action? I don’t know maybe. Some guys can’t seem to resist it themselves and will even “cup it” or “cop a feel” in the most awkward of situations. More proof that the penis is just itching to get loose. Where does it want to go and what does it want to do? If given the opportunity would be “engaged” at all times? What fun would that be for anyone? What would you do about work, about dinner, about the thousands of kids in your house?


A penis is just a bad seed looking to get into trouble. It’s bad news on a bad day, yet it’s just too hard to let go of. It’s almost like a security blanket or Radar’s teddy bear. You just need to know it’s there to feel better.


I guess we will never unzip the mystery of the penis, but I promise I’ll keep beating it until I get some answers.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster


Written by Ramblin' Rooster

January 12, 2009 at 4:35 am

2 Responses

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  1. I couldn’t help laughing all the way from the first sentence to the last.


    January 12, 2009 at 7:24 am

  2. Sarah, thanks for your comment. Wait, you’re not laughing at MY penis are you? I’m glad you could find the humor in it.

    Ramblin' Rooster

    January 13, 2009 at 7:02 am

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