Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

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After Losing Your Mind

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I met an alien named Dave. I had my suspicions that it wasn’t his real name, but just a fake name he used because he was tired of people not being able to pronounce his given name. I didn’t push him on the subject.


The circumstances of how we met are nothing more than mundane, but I will tell you anyway so you don’t ask me later.


I went to the DMV to replace my driver’s license, (which I had lost in a snow storm while vacationing in Florida). I was standing in line, waiting for my turn when I noticed out of the corner of my eye, a beautiful woman bending over at the soda machine to retrieve her change. She must have had unusually large fingers because it seemed rather difficult for her to get the money out of the slot. As she struggled, what seemed to be ten minutes, my number had been called.


I went to the next available counter and began what I knew would be a long and tiresome process. The following conversation took place:


“Hullo sir or madam, may I be of help to you how today?”

“Ummm… yea, I lost my driver’s license and I need to replace it.”

“OK, you need want to take test to get license?”

“What? Was there a question in there?”

“You need want to exam for your license.”

“I just need to have another one made. I’m already a licensed driver and I’ve brought in two other forms of identification to verify I am who I say I am.”

“Have you a medical chart from a doctor of optometry?”

“Excuse me?”

“Have you been in an accident in the last six months?”

“What are you talking about? I need to replace my license that I lost. That’s it.”

“Please take a number and await a call for your turn.”

“This is my number right here, [holding up my little slip of paper] I’ve already waited my turn, I’ve already been called up here.”

“May I be of help to you how today?”


It was at this point that I noticed I was not at the DMV, but instead I had somehow wandered into an immigrations office. I knew then that I had lost all connection with reality and the better half of my brain.


What did I do next? I went to get ice cream of course.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster


Written by Ramblin' Rooster

January 28, 2009 at 4:04 am

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