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Archive for February 5th, 2009

Class B Cigarette Disappointment

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Have you ever had one of those long running jokes in your life that has been around so long you don’t even remember where it came from? Well, although it’s not funny-funny, Class B cigarettes has always been one of mine.


If you’re not a smoker, you may not know that every pack of cigarettes you can buy, regardless of price or quality, has stamped somewhere on the box, “Class A”. Not knowing what this means, one is lead to believe that Class A is the top of the line. It also makes you wonder if there’s such thing as Class B, Class C, Class D, etc. Knowing first hand, (and second hand) how nasty and disgusting Class A cigarettes are, imagining how filthy and vile Class B must have to be is where the humor, as faint as it is, came into play.


Today my boss brought up smoking and asked if my cigarettes where fire proof. I tired with all my might to refrain from saying, “How f#@%ing stupid is you?” Guess what? I was successful and said something like, “I don’t think so, that would kind of defeat the purpose.” He became frustrated and said, “No, not fire proof, but Fire Safe”. Apparently they’ve invented a way for cigarettes left behind in ashtrays to stop burning if left unattended. My boss went on to say that FSC is printed on the box… so now you know how we got on to the subject of Class A. I said I wondered if there was Class B cigarettes. He responded with, “Look it up on the internet.” So I did.


Turns out that there used to be Class B cigarettes, but they don’t make them anymore. The “class” designation wasn’t used for anything other than tax purposes. How disappointing. I had a friend tell me that clove cigarettes are Class B, but I have never seen anything to be able to fully support that statement. All in all, it’s a big let down.


I suppose next you’re going to tell me Santa Claus isn’t real and that he smoked the last of the Class B cigarettes.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

February 5, 2009 at 5:52 am