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It Pays To Be Rich

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I don’t make any money. Don’t get me wrong, I draw a paycheck from my “day job”, but it’s not my money. I’m just collecting it so I can send it off in the mail to utility companies, creditors or personally hand deliver it to retailers and grocery stores. Sure they give me some token gifts, because they’re so happy to be getting the money I owe them, but the gifts never lasts.


It’s probably a no-brainer, but apparently you have to be rich if you want to do anything. There’s an old saying, “You gotta spend money to make money”. No wonder I don’t make any money, I never have it to spend.


My latest venture into, “Hey world please remind me that I’m poor and I’ll never amount to anything more than a ditch digger” comes from talking with publishers about my “great, American, novel”. (Sorry to have degraded you fellow ditch diggers, but you know as well as I do that the world looks down on us.) After several conversations, with several different publishers I learned that I’ll probably never be a published writer.


Why, you ask? Is it because I’m lazy? Is it because I’m easily discouraged? Or is it because I’m a quitter? Quit focusing on the obvious and read between the lines, will ya?


The reason I’ll never be a published author is because I don’t have any money, that and the fact that I was unaware that authors had to do all their own publicity, promotion, sales and marketing. I now want to open my own publishing house, because I guess all you do is accept manuscripts, say yes, and then collect checks. Sounds like something I could do.


In my phone conversations I even said to the representatives things like, “if I knew how to do that, why would I be talking to you?” and “I can read all this information on the web for free?” This never seemed to discourage or slow them down. At one point I said, “You’ll publish anything won’t you”. I was told that their business model isn’t set up to judge the value of a manuscript, (which in hindsight is genius). My point was that I didn’t feel special and that all of this was a borderline scam, (kind of like going to a modeling agency and dropping tons of money on headshots and runway lessons, but never getting a gig out of it). One web site even had a typo on their page, which in this day and age isn’t that uncommon, but for a publishing house, it’s inexcusable.


So what did I learn? That if I had a lot of money, lots of time, a go-get’em attitude and knew all the right people, you could go out and buy my book.


The name of my new book is called, “How To Go About Not Getting Published”. Don’t bother looking for it.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

February 17, 2009 at 4:11 am

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