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Archive for February 25th, 2009

Whatever Happened To Knee Patches?

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My wife will buy the kids a new pair of jeans at the slightest sign of knee wear of pin sized hole. When I was a kid I had one pair of jeans that lasted me from kindergarten till I graduated from high school. Basically at the end of their life, there was no denim material left at all. They were entirely assorted patches by then.


I liked when the hole in the knee would rip out from behind the patch and my mother would re-sew the patch on by grabbing extra material from off to the side, making a kind of bizarre pleat in the jeans. I’m not sure, because my mother has never divulged the answer to me, but I hypothesize that back in those days each child was only allotted one pair by the state or that the mobsters that owned the patch factories had struck a deal with the teamsters. Either way, I wish I knew where all the patches went.


Some of you might not know that there was a time when patches ruled the world. You couldn’t walk into a store without seeing them everywhere. They weren’t just for covering holes either, no, no my friend, they were a fashion movement. Patches were for every inch of every item of clothing you owned. Plus, you could get a patch for any band, product, team, saying, or symbol you could ever think of.


You knew the sad kids right away, because they had the plain patches or even worse, the jean colored patches. You had to have a flashy patch back in those days to be cool. It had to have a groovy saying or popular character or some kind of animal on it. How can you make a statement with a plain green patch?


There were two kinds of patches, the classic sewn-on and the iron-on. The iron-on ones would last about as long as it took to ride your bike down the street, but it didn’t stop anyone from buying them for the simple fact that they could easily be converted into the sewn-on kind.


I wonder if the economy is the way it is today because of the patch industry going away. You’d think that in the middle of a recession that this would be the time you would need patches, now more than ever.


Let’s patch it up!


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

February 25, 2009 at 3:14 am