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Fighting Temptation To Punch You When I Talk

with 8 comments

You think that title is long; you should have seen what I wanted to call it, “Fighting temptation to punch you square in the face when I hear the annoying sounds you make while I talk”. So be grateful they made me condense it. This whole blog could have been the title. Maybe it should be, maybe I should stop right here, but you know I can’t.

 

I’ve always been an advocate for communication. I agree with leading experts that communication is the key for… well… communicating I guess. Anyway, there are to gigantic pet peeves I have during the conversation process. You might think that they are of a grammatical nature or something that shows the ignorance of the speaker, but you’d be wrong. Don’t worry, I laugh at you in my head, but I don’t judge you. It doesn’t bother me if you say, “He ain’t got no nothin’ to showed me.” We can still be friends. That’s just you and how you speak. Now here is where I contradict myself.

 

The first one I hate is “m’kay”. The long “M” sound followed by the “K” from OK. Why would anyone want to make a conjunction out of “mm” and OK? It turns every sentence into a question. This has been played out like ‘Stairway to Heaven’ or ‘Hotel California’ on the radio. Every cartoon show has at least one character that ends every sentence with “m’kay”. It’s been over exposed, over used and what was once funny is now a source of disappointment. So when I meet someone in real life that uses “m’kay” as a real part of their speech patterns, I must admit, it drives me crazy and I want to hurt them. I honestly see red. I can’t think of anything more annoying or ridiculous. Except…

 

When people intermittently inject “um-hm” while you’re talking, this is an automatic death sentence. How can you be agreeing with me before I finish me sentence? How can you be agreeing with me without a question even being asked?

 

“So I went to the store…”

“Um-hm.”

“…to buy some milk.”

“Um-hm.”

“And I saw this girl working there…”

“Um-hm.”

“…that I used to go to school with.”

“Um-hm.”

 

It’s completely irrational, illogical, irresponsible and “the bringer of the end of days”.

 

The only way to make these horrible habits of speech worse is to be a bystander of them. Rather than being engaged in the conversation you have to listen to people actually talking to each other in this manner. If you got a “m’kay guy” together with a “um-hm guy” we would all get to meet the Devil, because Armageddon would have commenced. I guess in actuality, they’d be a perfect match. So I guess I’ll see you in Hell.

 

There’s a lot that I can tolerate, but there are some things I can’t, m-kay?

 

Egg On (um-hm)!

Ramblin’ Rooster

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Written by Ramblin' Rooster

February 28, 2009 at 3:33 am

8 Responses

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  1. ‘Fighting Temptation…’

    I wish you included the egotistical,’oh my god!’ so we can sock them all together.

    pochp

    February 28, 2009 at 4:30 am

    • pochp, I’m so sorry I left out the “OMG” folks. Let’s call this Addendum No. 1 and add them. I’d hate to not have your there helping me “sock it to ’em”. Thanks for commenting.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      March 1, 2009 at 4:03 am

  2. Interesting article, i have bookmarked your blog for future referrence

    ufc 96 betting

    February 28, 2009 at 6:29 pm

    • ufc 96 betting, thanks for your comment. However, this doesn’t mean I’m betting on any fights.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      March 1, 2009 at 4:07 am

  3. The “m’kaysters” are pretty thin on the ground Downunder, but there are a few conversational blackboard screeches that make me wonder: how bad could prison really be?

    *Constant overuse of your first name during conversation. There is no way to indulge in this practice without seeming like a desperate used-car salesman.

    *People who say “that’s funny” without laughing. A “that’s funny” with laughter following is acceptable. A solo “that’s funny” sans laughter is just plain lying.

    *The old “…what was I saying?” ambush. If you are not even interesting enough to make an impression on yourself, please don’t expect me to be transcribing your every thought for posterity.

    sillionshine

    May 11, 2009 at 11:57 am

    • sillionshine, wordsmith extraordinaire, strikes again! Oh how I love your thoughts. You make very good examples of “talking that deserves fists in face”. I hate to admit it, but I’ve been the “that’s funny” guy with no laughing. I hope this doesn’t mean my face will meet your fist, but alas the writing that you could accomplish in prison might just set the world free. Thank you for commenting.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 12, 2009 at 2:57 am

      • many thanks for your kind comments. I forgive you your “that’s funny” flaw (I trust you are working hard to eliminate this tic), on condition that you continue coming up with the good stuff on this blog. egg on.

        sillionshine

        May 12, 2009 at 9:51 am

        • sillionshine, I have been experimenting with several combinations of prescription pills I found in my grandmother’s cabinet and a little shock therapy. I endeavor to persevere. Thanks for working with me on this.

          Ramblin' Rooster

          May 13, 2009 at 3:11 am


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