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Archive for March 4th, 2009

Need An Awesome Stress Relief?

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I don’t know about you, but I had a bad day today. I won’t bore you with the details, mainly because I know you’d start to cry and then you’d want to send me money and with the economy the way it is you need to keep all the money you can. With that being said, it was still a bad day and I found myself getting rather stressed out. I don’t get stressed out much, so I’m not that good with dealing with it. That all changed today though. I found the best stress relief you could ever hope for and best of all, it’s free, (certain restrictions may apply)!


All you need to do is grab your phone, preferably a land line so as to not eat up your cell phone minutes, (if applicable) and find yourself a place to be alone, if you have small children in your home or choose to do this technique in public, (which would probably be a bad idea).


Call your bank or any place of business that you know is either automated after hours or is has a twenty four hour automated caller service. Once you get on the phone with the robotic, yet oddly polite automated teller let them have it. Yell obscenities at them, (if that’s your thing) or just be incredibly snotty. I like to be really rude and say horrible things about their make-believe parents. Sometimes if it’s a man, I’ll even tell him that I’m having an affair with his wife. The point is that you can go crazy. You can take it to any level you want to take it to. Threaten their life, their family, the family’s family, their unborn, who cares? Talk dirty, call them names, tell them they’re fired or just scream. The sky’s the limit baby!


The best part of it all, of course, is that they never talk back, get angry or hang up and most of the automated services can keep going and going for as long as you need to vent. Need just a minute of screaming at someone? Give ‘em a call. Need an hour of screaming at someone? Give ‘em a call. I will warn those people that actually want to scream, be sure to listen for them to, “not understand your response”. If you get too many of those in a row, they will hang up on you, so you may need to break character for a second to get the system going again. There is nothing worse than having to call back in the middle of your rant.


It may seem silly or childish, but it’s clinically proven to work, (that is if you accept that my living room is a clinic). Besides being cost effective, it is really healthy. Instead of yelling at your family, lover, pet or co-workers just use the automated victims. You’ll improve your personal life dramatically and see your life change in big ways. You’ll be a lot more fun to be around, that’s for sure.


Give ‘em a call and then give ‘em Hell. They don’t mind.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

March 4, 2009 at 4:31 am