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Archive for March 5th, 2009

People Are All The Same But Totally Different

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It never ceases to amaze me the absolute, nonstop, guaranteed and endless entertainment that humans provide. Granted, it may take a while, perhaps even days, for the entertainment value to sink in, but it always seems to in the end. You just have to keep a good sense of humor in your pocket and a somewhat easy going approach to life. In return you’ll never have to read a book, go to the movies or watch television ever again.


“Everyone is unique” has always been a fancy way of saying we’re completely the same and I have always believed this to be true. I find it odd when people look to be “outcasts” or “standouts”, because humans hate to be alone, (unless you’re male, over sixty and have been divorced three times).


So today I’ll share a story about my friend’s day at work. He had to go to people’s homes and knock on their doors. Already that sounds painful. No one likes to be bothered at home during the day, (or anytime really). He had to gain access to their backyard for the purpose of municipal improvement project planning and despite having a questionable right to just “hop the fence” he felt the need to be polite and ask permission.


He’d knock on people’s doors and for the most part people answered. (That was my first shock, I actually thought people had day jobs, silly me.) Then he’d give them his speech, “Hi, I was wondering if I could have your permission to enter your backyard for a moment. I need to take a picture of a manhole cover for the City’s proposed sanitary sewer improvement project for this neighborhood.”


A lot of people would ask him to repeat himself, most would reluctantly say yes, as if they were being put out, a few people said yes before he even finished his speech and a couple of them escorted him in and out of their property. Seemed pretty normal to me and it sounded like the majority of them were nice and accommodating, but then he told me of the “other folks”. (Will now change to first person of my friend telling me the stories)


Bitch One: First of all she had the door cracked open only wide enough for her eye. I realize that opening your door to strange men is unsafe, but that’s just the thing, she opened it. If I was out to hurt her I could have easily kicked her and the door down. Either keep it shut or open it. She asked me to repeat myself like four times and never did seem to understand the words. She kept asking to see my “City” truck or to have it in writing from the City. I said, “Oooook” as snotty as I could and went to the house around back. When I got there the lady was freaked out as well and asked it I had any I.D. I told her no. Then she asked if I was going to go “Jason on her” and that she had a big dog she could sic on me. I replied, “Ma’am you can let your dog loose on me if I get freaky, but I just want to go into your backyard and take a couple of pictures.” So she let me and even came back there with me. I got my pictures by leaning over the fence into the bitch’s yard and as I was walking out she apologized for being weird, saying, “You just can’t trust anyone these days”. I agreed and thanked her.


Bitch Two: I rang the bell and a teenager answered the door. I gave my speech and she told me to hold on and then shut the door. Then her mother came to the door and asked me what I wanted. I repeated the speech and she told me, “I don’t even know who you are.” So I told her my first name. She then said, “No. No. I do mind. No. No.” Again, I gave her the snotty “Oooook” and went to the neighbor’s house. Once again I looked over the fence and got my pictures. As I left all I could think about was why would these people be so protective of their backyards. These weren’t nice houses by any means and a lot of them were straight up white trash pastures. I guess I should have told them I’d swear not to tell the cops about their weed bushes.


People; if nothing else, they’re good for a laugh.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

March 5, 2009 at 4:15 am