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Archive for March 26th, 2009

This is My Phone Voice

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“Hello? Yes, this is he. Oh, hello Mr. Carlsberg, how are you?” OK, I guess that’s pathetic to think that you’d get anything auditory from that. Truth is, writing about the sound of people’s voices is probably not one of my best ideas, but that’s never stopped me before. If I had to guess, and I do, I bet you had the voice pretty close to what I was after in your head. If not, then maybe you’ll have it perfect by the time I’m done.


The phone voice is by far one of the funniest things I’ve witnessed in my life. I have a friend whose phone voice is two, if not three, octaves higher than his “street” voice. He even uses his phone voice when talking to his family, his immediate family no less.


If you’ve ever listened to the radio, no doubt you’ve heard the “Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! Monster Truck Rally Speed Boat Bikini Gun Show Extravaganza!” voice, the slimy, super-salesman voice that makes real life, used car, salesman seem friendly. We all know that no one talks like that in real life. If you met someone that spoke to you in that voice you’d excuse yourself if not punch them in the face. So why then do people still employ the phone voice? We all know it’s fake, so we’re not impressed or fooled. If anything it’s unprofessional to be so patronizing. So it moves from slightly disrespectful to downright creepy when regular citizens in the private sector use the phone voice behind closed doors of their residence.


The phone is another source that let’s me know I’m all alone, (while being constantly surrounded) in this world. I feel like I’m the only person that answers the phone using the voice I use to talk with everyday. Even more so, I use my normal voice when placing calls as well. It doesn’t matter to me who I’m calling or talking to. The number of voices I have to communicate on an everyday level is one.


Sometimes I even get annoyed when I call some place and get a chipper-skipper on the line whose sunshine voice is deafening despite the lack of excessive volume. I’m calling about a clamp for my washing machine. I don’t need to be greeted by a voice reminiscent of Saturday morning cartoon characters. Just talk to me like we know each other, like I couldn’t care less about the inflection of your tone.


Come off it phone people. We all know that’s not your real voice, so stop using it and just be yourself. It will take you a lot further.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

March 26, 2009 at 4:01 am