Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of

Quitting Smoking: Easy As Cutting Off Your Head

with 8 comments

I’ve been a smoker for the majority of my life, meaning I’ve smoked for more years than not while being on this planet. It’s rather odd when you think about it in that way. It really makes you marvel at the durability of the human body or question the detrimental effects of smoking. I’m leaning towards the amazing power of the human body to overcome toxins. Three weeks ago, (as of yesterday) I quit. This is not the longest I’ve ever stopped, but certainly the best attempt I’ve made in the last decade.


Quitting smoking is easy. You just simply stop participating in the act. I won’t fight you if you want to punch me in the face for saying that. I know it sounds stupid, much like, “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people”. Its statements like this that make people kill people. On the other hand, it really is odd that the hard part about not smoking is the mind games, because that’s all that remains. That’s the part that no one ever seems to talk about. It’s always the nicotine cravings and your daily routine and this and that and blah, blah, blah, but in the end it’s nothing more than you and your inner voice duking it for the rest of your life. That’s the part that I never seem to be able to deal with. Much like cutting off your head, it’s easy to do in theory, but hard to actually do the cutting.


Perhaps you’re wondering if I used an aid, perhaps you stopped reading a paragraph ago. Either way, I did use an aid, but not what you think, (probably). I didn’t use the patch or gum or even medication. No, I used a fake cigarette. It’s an electronic cigarette that emits a “harmless” vapor. Of course I think it’s only harmless to the second-handers, but really, as a smoker, what do I care. There are cartridges that you load into this battery device that deliver the “vapor” and the vapor contains nicotine. The idea, much like all the cessation aids, is to “wean” yourself off the real cigarettes.


I’m using the “high” nicotine cartridges and have no intention of weaning myself anywhere. Once the gross of cartridges I have is gone, I’m done. I think I’ve gotten over the “shakes and sweats” or kicking, so all that’s left is the self contained, all mental, life long argument of, “Have a cigarette. No! Have a cigarette. No! Have a cigarette. No!”


I will say the electronic cigarette is pretty nifty as a gimmicky thing and it has helped me to stop, (I guess). Ironically, the packaging that comes with the cigarette says that it’s not intended for trying to quit. Liability I guess, but who knows. I will say that it’s expensive and somewhat cumbersome to keep up with, especially if you’re an all day smoker. I would recommend getting the cigar over the cigarette though, the cartridges last longer and you get more “vapor”.


The draw backs? Now that I’m free to smoke anywhere I want, I find myself doing it all the time. I never smoked in my house because of my kids, but now that it’s harmless, I’m a vapor chimney. I vaporize at the office, in my car, in stores and just about everywhere I go. I vaporize twice as much as I smoked. I fear that I’ll have to use vapor patches to wean myself from the electronic device. The other one, and this is very vain I suppose, is the fact that I feel somewhat silly. For all practical purposes, I’m fake smoking. Is it better than lung cancer? Absolutely. Does it matter when I’m standing outside with real smokers and I’ve got this light up toy? Not really, but like I said, it beats dying.


What can I say, nothing is cooler than smoking a REAL cigarette.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster


Written by Ramblin' Rooster

March 27, 2009 at 3:25 am

8 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. RR, Are you still smoke free? I quit April first with the asistance of drugs. This is the second time in a year I’ve gone this route, but I’ve tried to quit 4 times in the last 2 years.

    Last time, my husband growled, “Have a goddamn cigarette already!” I don’t know why he was so irritable.

    Claire Collins

    May 16, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    • Claire Collins, much to my surprise I am still smoke free, (four months for what it’s worth). Your comments made me laugh. I can totally relate to how everyone becomes incredibly irritable and borderline impossible to get along with once you quit smoking. This doesn’t make sense, since it’s you that is going through the hardship. Why can’t people just lighten up? What’s their problem? I enjoyed your comments, thank you.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 17, 2009 at 5:00 am

  2. You’re welcome. I enjoy your comments as well and your blog is fun. I don’t know why everyone around me becomes irritable when I stop smoking. It’s very selfish of them. Don’t they realize that I’m the one giving up my best friend?

    Claire Collins

    May 17, 2009 at 5:11 am

    • Claire Collins, This is one of the first major mind tricks. I often found myself saying to my wife, “Cigarette would never treat me like this or ask me how’s it going with such contmept in her voice. How dare you!”

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 17, 2009 at 5:42 am

  3. I’ve been a smoker for more years than I was a nonsmoker too. I’ve known cigarettes longer than I’ve known my husband. Cigarettes were there with me through every good and bad moment in my life since before I knew how to drive. Damn right they’re my best friend and they don’t talk back either. I miss those death sticks.

    The first time I tried to quit, I buried the smokes and lighter in the backyard. I had a little funeral and everything.

    Two days later, I dug the cancerous little corpses up and cremated them one by one instead.

    Claire Collins

    May 17, 2009 at 6:37 am

  4. I’m laughing at you laughing at me. We could do this all day. It’s been fun hanging out over here.

    Claire Collins

    May 18, 2009 at 5:02 am

    • Claire Collins, I guess it’s time to put it out. See you in the smoking lounge. Appreciate the banter.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 19, 2009 at 3:45 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: