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Spam Isn’t Necessarily Bad

with 4 comments

Most people, and when I say most people I mean everybody, hates spam. The world works so hard to stop, control, prevent and contain spam. I wonder how much money the “spam prevention” industry does a year. Before you go throwing your e-tomatoes at me, please note that I am not an advocate of spam. However, from time to time, I do enjoy reading the subject lines of spam in my spam filter. Here a few of my recent favorites.


-“Change the time in your pants from 5:30 to 12 sharp”

-“A watch doesn’t only indicate the time, it also indicates your status”


Ironically both of these came at relatively the same moment. They almost seem like the same thing or the same company, although the product is completely different. Unless it’s for a watch your wear on your penis, which would be pretty cool and a great, new way to sexually harass people.


“Change the time…”

I don’t like the fact that it puts the idea of something sharp in your pants, but other than that I like this one just because it’s so silly. Now, walking around with an erection seems like an odd selling point, but who knows, it could be a fresh new angle to generate fresh clients. The silliness to me is the metaphor to a watch or clock. What an odd thing to compare your failing manhood to. Is a broken penis right at least twice a day? The best part is that it’s 5:30 and not 6. I like the fact that they allow for or thought of the “leaning” aspect.


“A watch doesn’t…”

Much like its brother, this one is just so silly. Depending on the model, a watch may also offer you the date, heart rate monitor, GPS navigator, telephone, television, stop watch, PC/calculator, compass, thermometer and alarm. Also, a nice watch could mean that the wearer pony upped the cash for a nice watch. Could be this lavish and extravagant wristwatch connoisseur really lives in a trailer, but has a passion for fine, precision timepieces. Finally it indicates your status as what? Someone who can tell time?


I wish I had a 12 sharp, status indicating watch in my pants, too bad those e-mails got blocked.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

April 10, 2009 at 3:37 am

4 Responses

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  1. Oh this is a good one! Very creative Mr. Rooster. I have one question though. What are these spammers going to do to market towards people that use a cell phone as their watch?


    April 10, 2009 at 7:15 am

    • timshel1, this is uncanny! I was just thinking this very night about writing a blog about the unused cell phone being an expensive watch. I should probably switch channels so you’ll stop reading my mind. As far as the spammers, I guess they’ll need to change the word watch to cell phone. You can’t tell me that cell phones aren’t a huge “indication of your status”.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      April 11, 2009 at 4:22 am

  2. What’s sad is that I’m not thinking of possible spam statements such as “is that your cell phone, or are you just happy to see me?” I could go on, but I don’t want embarrass you 😛 Take it easy RR


    April 12, 2009 at 7:13 am

    • timshel1, thank you for not embarrassing me, nothing worse than being embarrassed when you’re all alone on the computer. Take it easy and if it’s easy, take it again… oh yeah. Thanks for commenting.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      April 13, 2009 at 3:48 am

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