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Archive for April 14th, 2009

What’s the Big Deal About Teeth?

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As you may or may not know, roosters do not have teeth, so I am really at a loss here. I’m not really even sure what teeth are made out of. Is it bone? What’s that? Oh, apparently teeth are made out of enamel, the hard white outer coating of your tooth. It’s the hardest stuff in your body. Dentine, the stuff inside the enamel, a yellow bone connected to your jaw bone that has some nerves inside it. If you have a cavity, it’s usually a hole in the enamel that leaves the dentin exposed. Pupil, which is at the center of your tooth, the pulp contains important blood vessels and nerves. It’s also the main message center to the brain. Cementum, this is what covers the root of your tooth, the part of the tooth that is below the skin and a periodontal ligament attaches the cementum to the bone of the jaw. Wow! Thanks WikiAnswers! Is there nothing that the internet can’t answer?

Well there’s one, because that still doesn’t answer the question about why are they so important. Besides chewing, keeping your facial structure looking normal and gleaming while taking pictures I really can’t think of anything.

Yet, every time a person comes on the television that doesn’t have teeth my wife freaks out like she’s seeing something so disgusting that she almost has to turn away, (or at least make a noise every time).

It doesn’t just stop with her. Seems like everywhere I go people are disgusted by the toothless. Is it teethless or toothless? If you only had a tooth and lost it, then you’d be toothless, but if you had a mouthful of teeth and lost all of them you’d be teethless. OK, fine, toothless it is.

My point being is that people don’t like the humans that have no teeth. Men seem to be even worse about the subject than women. I couldn’t even count the number of times that men have expressed a desperate sexual urge that could be satisfied by the lowest of all women on the desirable scale, only to have the bottom-line-cut-off be defined that a minimum of requirements be that she has teeth. Weight, moles, hair, artificial limbs and a slew of other miscellaneous goodies seem to be completed eclipsed by the necessity of teeth.


Teeth seem to be so important that even the having fake ones are looked down upon. In a world of fake and plastic parts being surgically implanted and a wide array of topical, temporary physical enhancements, why are teeth so scrutinized? No one seems to care if the rest of your body is artificial.


I’ve also seen a lot of commercials that tell me that if I have a bad smile people will chase my out of town with torches, true love will pass me by and I won’t be able to find employment. If I don’t have a white smile I really hate myself and will eventually commit suicide.


Maybe I should have kept my big beak shut, but only because I don’t have teeth.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster


Written by Ramblin' Rooster

April 14, 2009 at 4:38 am