Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of

Archive for April 15th, 2009

I Can’t Write My Blog Tonight

with 4 comments

I must apologize right out of the gate, because I can’t write my blog tonight. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to, but I just can’t. It’s not my fault. I know everyone who says that it’s not their fault is really guilty as sin, but this time it’s true. Extenuating circumstances have made it impossible.


It all started off fine. I ate dinner and walked my dogs, just like I do every night. When I got home I came upstairs to write when I discovered that the second floor was gone. I mean the whole thing, walls, ceiling and the stuff inside gone, nothing left but sky.


That’s when I spotted it, the devilish dragon that had ripped away the most important part of my house. Needless to say I was afraid as I made eye contact with this beast. My fear was soon replaced by anger as I thought about not being able to write my blog tonight and I grabbed my sword from its sheath, (yes, I do carry a long sword with me at all times. Why do you ask?).


I jumped out on the gable, which was the only part of the second floor that remained and held my sword above my head in a taunting, dramatic and Hollywood style. This must be standard practice in dragon-human confrontation, because she knew exactly what it meant. In a roar laced with fire, she reared her body up into the air to begin her bomber like descent upon me.


I waited patiently, feverishly, holding back the urge to jump the gun with the anticipation to strike at her massive body. She came closer and closer and shot a fire ball at me. I didn’t even flinch as the molten projectile hollowed by my ear. I knew that the first shot was always a warning to scare off those not worthy of a fight.


My hands tightened on the handle of my sword, a sword forged from old bicycle parts and precious, scrap metals I found from behind a machine shop next to where I work, as she grew nearer. This sword had been blessed by a couple of kids down the street and a vagrant who asked me for change yesterday at lunch. If ever there was a holy weapon of righteousness, it was this blade I held firm in my hands.


She got closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer. As she began to straighten up from her nose dive to deliver her killing blow, I pulled back and swung my sword with the fury of a drunken celebrity. Contact was made as I felt the hot blade slide between her thick, cold scales. A moment of silence fell upon the battle field, but only a moment, before being disrupted by the sound of her heart falling to the ground still beating.


I wiped my blade and re-sheathed it. This is why I was unable to blog tonight.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster