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Archive for April 23rd, 2009

Revenge Set For Picnic

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This is part two of an ongoing story. Please read ‘I Fell Down and Hit My Head’ prior to reading this, (if you haven’t already).


I was a victim. I fell down and hit my head on a banana peel. A banana peel, for crying in the night! It was probably put there on purpose by on of my co-workers. Probably that bitch Sally. She and I have never gotten along, but it doesn’t matter who it was. Not really. My evil wheels have been churning all night and I have an idea about how to get even with all of them.


Not just any old idea, but a diabolical, rudimentary and simplistic plan of evil and chaos. A plan of secrecy, a plan that is sneaky, something that they’ll never be prepared for, something so perfect they won’t know what even hit them until it’s too late. It’s going to be awesome.


The company picnic is coming up in three weeks. Everyone is supposed to bring a main course, side dish, dessert of beverage. Everyone of course opts for the two liter so they don’t have to bring anything. Every year is the same, a store bought tub of potato salad, one of baked beans, couple bags of chips, a bucket of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and 37 two liters of diet soda. I hate diet pop by the way.


So I figured I’d make brownies. Everyone in my office is a whore for chocolate. They’d stab their mother in the eye to lick the bottom of the pan. I know if I bring a consumable of this nature they’ll be no one able to resist partaking. I’d better make a double batch. The only thing I’m not telling you is that I’m going to mix my batter with a generous portion of LSD.




I’m terribly nervous. I can’t tell if it’s because of the anticipation of what I hope will be major human fireworks or the fact that I can’t wait to see these people freak out. This is my silly way of saying I want to see my plan in action! I put my brownies down on the table and went off in the corner by myself to wait it out.


Just as I expected, my fellow employees swarmed the deliciously moist fudge squares without even pretending to eat a main course. You’d think that chocolate was the only thing that kept them alive. Everyone scarfed down my brownies with some folks helping themselves to second and thirds, everyone except Mike that is. He’s diabetic, but come to think of it he’s never done wrong by me, so I guess it’s good he’s being spared.


Thirty minutes after the feeding frenzy, the show started to begin.


(to be continued tomorrow)


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster


Written by Ramblin' Rooster

April 23, 2009 at 4:59 am