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Archive for April 27th, 2009

Pay A Little Visit

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This is part six of an ongoing series.

Please read:

Part 1 – I Fell Down and Hit My Head

Part 2 – Revenge Set For Picnic

Part 3 – Havoc Ensues

Part 4 – Enter the Fuzz

Part 5 – Locked Down In Lockup

The story so far: Being made fun of at work by my co-workers after I was victimized by an office prank/accident, I got angry and sought revenge by dosing everyone at the company picnic with LSD laced brownies. Just as everyone was starting to freak out and have fun, the cops showed up and arrested me. I spent the night in jail and was released with a court date. I discovered that Mike was out to get me.


There must be something to anger and rage that makes someone act and feel like a hormonal woman. After hearing Mike’s message and the joy in his voice for my life heading down the drain expediently, the rage inside burned so hot that I became teary eyed. Thoughts and feeling flashed and buzzed in and around my head. I felt dizzy and nauseous and experienced sensations of bugs or flesh eating chemicals being sprayed on my skin. I think I actually stood up and stand down six times in a row. I was insane.


This seemed like the perfect time to pay Mike a little visit. Guess this is the one time I’m glad that my office makes you submit your address and distributes “employee lists”. I drove over to Mike’s house in what felt like an instant. I don’t remember traffic lights or even getting out of the car. I went from my living room to Mike’s porch without blinking. He wasn’t home. What’s an angry, crazed, out on bail, unemployed guy to do? Break in the door of course. Surprisingly, Mike really wasn’t home.


I started riffling through his stuff. I’m not really sure why. Did I think I’d find a confession letter or a note explaining to me why Mike, for what I know to be without reason, is trying to destroy me? I was throwing papers, pulling out drawers, over turning furniture when a sound that I never heard before in real life, but am completely familiar with, came from behind my head. It was Mike and a cocked pistol. “What are you doing here?! Why are you in my house?!”


It’s funny, you know? When you watch action movies, especially the cheesy ones, you have moments where you make fun of what’s going on. You say things like, “That’s so fake. No one would ever do that. Like he’d just be able to turn around and grab the gun.” The last thing you ever think is, “If I’m ever in that situation, I’m going to try that.”


This was one of those fake Hollywood moments. I turned around slowly, with my hands half way into the air. I was talking nonsense, stalling as I rotated with caution. When I was about 75% complete, I leaped at Mike and the gun.


When I came to my head was throbbing. Looking down I saw my pants had blood all over them. I reached up and felt my head. It was wet and the size of the bump felt like Minnesota. I guess I didn’t manage to wrangle the gun from Mike. Speaking of which, he was gone. I pulled my self up and stumbled into the bathroom. The mirror revealed that I had gotten my ass pistol whipped pretty good by Mike. I tried to cleanup as best and as fast as I could. I was on my way out when a broken picture frame caught my eye. I bent down to investigate. Behind some picture of an old lady, (Mike’s mom?) there was a 5” x 7” manila envelope. Inside were negatives. Held up to the light they looked like pictures of a nude woman. I tuned my head to look around, a natural reaction when looking at negatives of naked women I guess. In doing that, I could see down the hall and what looked to be a foot sticking out from the doorway of a bedroom. I got up and went to check. I discovered Mike in a pool of blood lying dead on the floor.


Can you say, “Oh Shit”?


(to be continued tomorrow)


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

April 27, 2009 at 3:36 am