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Archive for May 5th, 2009

May Showers

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When I was a kid my grandmother told me that when it rains outside the God is crying. It’s been raining for the last eight days were I live so God must be miserable.


There’s a lot of talk that weather affects moods. “When it’s gray outside, I feel gray on the inside.” I personally don’t care what the weather’s like outside because I’m too mopey because of all this rain.


Women seem to hate the rain more than men. Apparently they’re all witches from Oz because they melt if they get wet.


Rain is magical. It turns dirt into mud. It makes taking my son to soccer practice in my $121,585 Maserati very exciting. I make him walk home, but I follow him to make sure nothing happens to the boy.


Rain is the life water of Mother Nature. All life is made possible by the part rain plays in the great circle of life. So I guess she likes to go on benders during spring, (the lush).


Rain is hard to watch. Every time I look up to see it, something hits me in the eye.


Some people keep rain gauges. I guess they want to know how much rain falls during a certain day or over a period of time. I bet if they knew I was pouring water into them they’d be awful angry.


Umbrellas were made to keep rain off your head. Galoshes were made to keep your feet dry. I think they should make clear, plastic, body suits that you could slip on to walk in the rain. They could call it, “Bodumlosh”.


There’s a real love and hate relationship that humans have with rain. It’s kind of like a cop, hated until you need one around. Whenever a drought hits you always hear some wisenheimer say, “We sure could use some rain”. This is the same person that curses it when they want to go do something on any given day when it is raining.


Perhaps our feeling for rain is like our attitude towards death. We’d all like it to come whilst we sleep.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

May 5, 2009 at 4:01 am