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Finger Lickin’ Disgusting

with 6 comments

People are gross. It can’t be helped with all the mucus and feces. It’s natural and a part of who we are, all of us. You might like to think of yourself as not being gross, but if you were the star of your own twenty-four hour reality show, you’d see just how gross you really were. We make entirely way too much waste to even try and argue the fact.


Of course some people are worse than others. Doesn’t mean you’re not gross. It just means others are grosser. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a huge difference between being naturally gross and crude. We all experience gas, but it those who “push it” out for maximum volume at the most inappropriate of times that are disgusting.


Disgusting and gross are not synonymous. Coughing up a lung burger is gross, but spitting it on the sidewalk with other people walking by is disgusting. Using a tissue to clean your nostrils is gross, but picking your nose and wiping it under the movie theater seat is disgusting. I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea and my stomach is tightening up a little.


One thing I’ve found to be disgusting, yet quite common, is the finger lickin’ page turner. I’m not speaking of a great book that’s hard to put down, I mean people who lick their finger(s) so that a page from a book or stack of papers will stick to their finger(s). I’ve lived my whole live turning pages without moisture, but for some people it seems to a big problem.


Similar to the “ugly nudist”, people who perform this disgusting habit are always people you pray won’t need mouth to mouth if an emergency situation ever arises, (or at least you’re not around if it does or that no one knows you are trained in CPR).


These “finger lickers” always suffer from less than ideal breath, discolored teeth, abnormally productive saliva glands, and one or more of the following in or around the mouth area: lesions, blisters, soars, cuts, blotches, blemishes, and pimples. All of this is somewhat circumstantial you might say, but even ye of little camaraderie can’t argue that when it’s done with a “bite of food” in their mouth it’s beyond the line of “maybe” or “personal dislike” and moves directly towards “totally unacceptable”.


I don’t care if they lick their own books or papers, but you can’t be licking anything that is going to be used by another person.


You just can’t! For realz!


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster


Written by Ramblin' Rooster

May 13, 2009 at 3:06 am

6 Responses

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  1. I go through 3 or 4 books a week. So to cut costs, I use the library, or buy used books. I appreciate the thoughts that you have now stuck in my head. Yea! The money counting lickers are even better though.

    Scott Oglesby

    May 13, 2009 at 7:24 am

    • Scott Oglesby, you’ve topped me good sir! Laying the saliva right into your hand, covering the money you’re worked hard to earn, NOT COOL! Well played and a perfect 10 comment.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 14, 2009 at 3:22 am

  2. Uggggggh now I don’t want to touch my library books without gloves and purelle!


    May 13, 2009 at 4:14 pm

    • Enna, now would be a great time to turn to television… just kidding. Don’t worry, no one goes to the library anymore, (except for Scott Oglesby, but he ain’t lickin’ books). I’m sure your books are like new. Thank you for commenting.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 14, 2009 at 3:26 am

  3. Inspired rant.

    Ever read “Grossology”? Truly shows just what big bags of gross gunk we really are.

    And yet, when all is said, many of us are not without our charms.

    Keep on keeping on. Love to visit your most excellent blog.


    May 13, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    • alantru, inspired by grossness? I haven’t read ‘Grossology’, (too afraid to touch the pages). Our grossness really means nothing. There are over five hundred types of bacteria living in our mouths, yet we wouldn’t hesitate to make out with some attractive stranger behind the TastyFreeze. Nice line about “our charms”. Not a lot of people can turn that phrase. Dig the comments.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 14, 2009 at 3:36 am

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