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Archive for May 19th, 2009

In My Nose

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Are you fascinated by worthless information? Do you listen for random words in a conversation, writing them down to rearrange into a story later on? Do you fall short of finding anything relative to say? Do you tire easily of rhetorical questions?


I can fit a quarter in my nose.


I can fit two nickels and three dimes in one nostril.


I can fit marbles, Cheetos and sardines up my nose.


I have snorted cocaine, chalk dust, Nasonex, crystal meth, soap, cookie crumbs, soda pop, milk and pepper.


I’ve broken my nose three times, but never in a fight.


I had nose surgery.


I have a good sense of smell at random moments or upon encountering anything rotting or foul.


I can not distinguish the difference between coffee and burning plastic by smell only.


Other people’s fingers have been in my nose.


I’ve had many animals and several babies bite my nose.


My nose holds up my sun glasses.


My nose may or may not also hold up my enormous forehead.


My nose is ashamed of its profile in pictures regardless of how many times I tell it I think it’s beautiful.


There are four different colors of hair in my nose.


I cannot use my nose as an instrument.


I like to call people nosey parkers.


This is absolutely, positively, the nosiest blog I’ve ever written.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

Written by Ramblin' Rooster

May 19, 2009 at 4:16 am