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Insatiable Appetite Sated

with 10 comments

It’s never enough. You can try to satisfy the cravings, but you can’t. Sometimes you struggle not to stick everything you find in your mouth like a baby exploring a room. I’m talking about an appetite, an appetite for food. 

Everyday I get hungry. Why it’s almost the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning, (besides empting my bladder and “I hope that was that just a dream?”). Food, food, food, damn body, why must you be so annoying?


It’s never goes away, (without coming back). I’ve eaten entire pizzas to myself, whole boxes of donuts, and am always consuming more than the “serving size” conveniently printed on any store bought, pre-packaged item. On a side note, who are these serving sizes for, dead gnomes? The serving size of Oreo cookies is two. OK, I’m stuffed, double stuffed…


Anyway, I eat everyday trying to make my stomach shut up. I eat several times a day, even on weekends and holidays. Sometimes I even eat snacks that look good even when I’m not that hungry because I know my idiotic stomach will be asking me later for what I’m seeing now.


My stomach’s favorite food is the sandwich. It doesn’t much care what’s between those two pieces of bread, it just likes them sandwiches. Cheeseburgers have always been a big hit inside my gut.


So today I was driving around looking for free military surplus when my stomach started acting up again. “Damn, not now. Why? I just fed you like three hours ago!” I shouted at my bottomless pit. At that precise moment chance made me look up and I saw a golden light shining down from a sign.


I thought it to be an angel coming to answer my prayers. It was like nothing I had ever heard of or seen before my entire life. If this couldn’t bring happiness and satisfaction to my stomach nothing could.

Four kinds of meat, one kind of delicious!

Four kinds of meat, one kind of delicious!


Now that’s one helluva sandwich!


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster



Written by Ramblin' Rooster

May 24, 2009 at 4:39 am

10 Responses

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  1. I know, it’s just another vicious cycle. Lately I’m doing more ‘preventative eating’ right before bed. I hate the thought of waking up hungry. I want to try that burger. I haven’t had buffalo meat in ages!!

    Scott Oglesby

    May 24, 2009 at 9:09 am

    • Scott Oglesby, this isn’t buffalo. It’s fishbuffalobeefturkey, so it’s better and scary and quite possibly poisonous. I like your idea about filling up before bed, I’m going to really pack it in there tonight. Thanks for the support. No seriously, can you help me unhinge my jaw to get this burger in there?

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 25, 2009 at 3:32 am

  2. Brewburger seems to be a fitting name. It certainly looks like a recipe that would make sense when drunk.

    Capitalist Lion Tamer

    May 24, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    • Capitalist Lion Tamer, I thought the same thing. Ironically they will not serve you this incredible heart-stopper until you’ve drank at least eight pints and you have to ask for it as the “Bishaleefurkin”. Hope to see you there next Friday night!

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 25, 2009 at 3:38 am

  3. Speaking of drunken recipes, check this site out:

    Capitalist Lion Tamer

    May 24, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    • Capitalist Lion Tamer, holy clogged pipes, (double entendre – double bonus score). I love how 99% of the items had bacon, my favorite being bacon chocolate cake. Makes me think this lame ass four meat burger needs bacon! Thanks for the link, thanks for commenting.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 25, 2009 at 3:45 am

  4. Here’s a fun coincidence, today I too was driving around looking for free military surplus. I got soiled dog tags and NcSTAR 10×50 Ruby Binoculars with cracked lens and covered in what I think is a white sauce.

    How about you?


    May 25, 2009 at 12:54 am

    • alantru, that sounds delicious! Just the usual, torn pup tent, broken jeep heater, rusty trifold shovel and gently used, 3 color, desert BDU’s. Oh wait, I did score a mint snow camo gilly suit! It totally rocks and will come in super handy next winter during poaching season. No one has ever asked me before. Thanks for the interest and also for sharing your wonderful finds.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 25, 2009 at 3:51 am

  5. I don’t know what’s scarier, the Bishaleefurkin sandwich or the free military surplus stuff you guys drive around and “find”?

    Claire Collins

    May 25, 2009 at 8:12 am

    • Claire Collins, there’s nothing scary about either one of those things. The fish-buffalo-beef-turkey burger is a meal that keeps on giving hours after you’ve eaten it and free militay surplus is the only thing that will defeat the terrorists or protect me after the tinfoil helmet fails. Nice to hear from you again.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      May 26, 2009 at 3:15 am

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