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Archive for May 30th, 2009

Human Piñata

with 30 comments

I was at a party store today. Walking around the aisles I was contemplating suing them, because for one, there was no party and two, there wasn’t any party. There was so much crap in the store it made me feel like I was in an attic or garage of some deranged packrat. It seemed like everything in the store cost 15 cents. It felt as though I could buy the entire store with the money in my car ashtray.

 

Just when I thought all hope was lost, I turned the corner to the aisle of piñatas. Holy macaroni I love piñatas. I don’t think there’s anything cooler than a piñata. A cheap, ugly, crepe paper work of mastery always puts my on cloud nine. They never quite look like the object they’re suppose to be. A horse looks like a donkey, the mermaid looks like a donkey and Spider-Man looks like a donkey.

 

I once bought my daughter a piñata for her birthday. I filled it with fake gold coins and made an awesome stick out of an old school, broom handle, (i.e. it was thick and menacing). When the time came for her to unleash on it she hit it and hit it and hit it. Eventually she became so exhausted she gave me the stick. In my mind I thought, “Oh, little girl, me strong man, me break it no problem.” Twenty minutes later I was on my hands and knees with a box knife going for its neck. See how much you could have.

 

Standing in the piñata aisle made me wish I was a piñata. I tried to come up with what I’d want to have inside of me to come spilling out to please the children that were assaulting me. I thought cell phones would be cool or iPods. Maybe organ shaped candy. Ooo, iPod shaped organs, filled with cell phone shaped candy, perfect!

 

If you were a piñata, what would you want to be filled with?

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

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Written by Ramblin' Rooster

May 30, 2009 at 4:43 am