Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of RoosterEgg.com

Can I Ask You a Question?

with 33 comments

“Can I ask you a question” has to be the greatest comedic line of all time. The two things that make this great are:

 

1: the obvious contradiction of asking to do what is already being done

2: people who say this are never trying to be funny

 

I hate when people are snotty or sarcastic in their response when approached by these words. It seems so sad to ruin such a beautiful moment with nastiness, but what else can you expect from humans.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, but just one.”

“Is it true that…”

“I’m sorry, but you already asked your question.”

(Ha, ha)

 

What’s the point of being a smartass? In the end you let them ask whatever question they were going to ask in the first place, but instead you wanted to kill a couple of clicks of the clock to make sure they knew you really were a dickhead.

 

The only time I hate hearing this sentence is when the question that follows is rhetorical. That is so unfair it almost demands violence, (and for the fact that 99% of the time the rhetorical question is really just a mean spirited comment or personal opinion).

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“What’s you’re problem moron?!”

 

You made the effort to approach me and pretended that you wanted my advice or knowledge or help, took up my time asking if you could ask me a question and then I don’t even get to respond. That’s cold blooded.

 

“Can I ask you a question?”

Has anyone ever said no to this, (and really meant it)?

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

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33 Responses

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  1. In my experience that question is always a prelude to relationship trouble. IE: “can I ask you a question; why did you just go buy a used Porsche when we were supposed to buy a new minivan?” or especially, “can I ask you a question; why did you withdraw $20K from our bank account on your so called ‘business’ trip to Vegas???”
    So now when I hear that question coming, I hop in my Porsche and head to Vegas!!

    Scott Oglesby

    June 3, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    • Scott Oglesby, I smell another hit reality show… “Can I Ask You A Question” where contestants ruin theirs and other’s lives for cash and prizes by trying to invent the worse, most hurtful, most hateful, more disrespectful and most horrible question ever asked from one human to another.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      June 4, 2009 at 5:49 am

      • I wanna play.

        Wife says, “Can I ask you question?”
        Husband says, “Sure honey, ask me anything.”
        Wife says, “Who is that woman and why are you screwing her in my bed?”

        ouch

        Claire Collins

        June 4, 2009 at 6:26 am

  2. OH OH OH !

    I got one!

    This is my favorite.

    You’re gonna hate this, RR.

    I love it when people come to me and say:
    “Can I ask you a stupid question?”

    My answer is: “Only if I can give you a stupid answer.”

    Claire Collins

    June 4, 2009 at 4:51 am

  3. RR,
    Can I ask you a question?

    How does that make you feel?

    Claire Collins

    June 4, 2009 at 6:27 am

    • Claire Collins, it makes me feel good, liked and interesting.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      June 5, 2009 at 3:30 am

      • You are good, liked, and interesting.

        I have another one.

        When you’ve done something wrong, and someone says, “What were you thinking?”

        The answer has to be, “I thought about it differently then!”

        Claire Collins

        June 5, 2009 at 4:59 am

        • Claire Collins, I must disagree. “What were you thinking?” is rhetorical. The answer has to be from the person who did the asking and they’re suppose to say, “Obviously you weren’t!”

          Ramblin' Rooster

          June 6, 2009 at 4:36 am

          • I have that conversation at my house all the time. Sometimes, I even have that conversation with someone other than myself.

            Claire Collins

            June 6, 2009 at 4:53 am

            • Claire Collins, has anyone ever told you that you’re a fun time lass?

              Ramblin' Rooster

              June 6, 2009 at 5:07 am

              • Yes actually I have, but they made me promise not to tell anyone.
                oh.
                um, whoops. I’m terrible at keeping secrets.

                Claire Collins

                June 6, 2009 at 6:10 am

  4. Ah… extraneous words.

    One of my favorite quotes from Futurama deals with this:

    Bender (introducing Fry): And now a man who needs no introduction…

    Bender (whispering): Fry, get up there!

    Then, of course, there’s that ever-popular follow-up phrase: “Promise you won’t get mad/offended/pissed-off.”

    • Capitalist Lion Tamer, since we’re veering off a little, how ’bout, “You promise not to tell anybody?”

      Ramblin' Rooster

      June 5, 2009 at 3:42 am

      • I’m going to get totally ticked off and then I’m telling Everyone!

        um I mean, I promise not to get mad or tell. 🙂

        Claire Collins

        June 5, 2009 at 5:03 am

        • Claire Collins, go ahead and tell, but then I’ll tell everyone that thing you asked me not to tell anyone.

          Ramblin' Rooster

          June 6, 2009 at 4:37 am

          • Shhh RR. That’s a secret and you promised you wouldn’t tell. You also promised not to get mad, not to use it against me, and not to use it for personal gain.

            Claire Collins

            June 6, 2009 at 4:54 am

      • “I’ll only tell my closest friends. And they’ll tell two of their friends. And they’ll tell two of their friends. And that’s how we’ll make money selling Amway.”

        Capitalist Lion Tamer

        June 5, 2009 at 6:18 pm

        • Captialist Lion Tamer, I thought you’d never ask… I’d love to join your pyramid of wealth and power!

          Ramblin' Rooster

          June 6, 2009 at 4:41 am

  5. Oh yes, Love and concern for good food, great wine, an excellent assortment of pills,and the strippers…

    Claire Collins

    June 9, 2009 at 3:11 am

    • Claire Collins, at least love and concern come first…

      Ramblin' Rooster

      June 9, 2009 at 3:33 am

      • This from the rooster who’s all heart and feathers. But you also have that huge thing on your head. so you aren’t ALL heart and feathers. And then there’s the appendage, which is apparently bigger than your heart, the feathers, AND that thing on your head all combined.

        What a rooster!

        Claire Collins

        June 9, 2009 at 5:13 am

        • Claire Collins, I know! I can’t believe Hollywood refuses to return my calls… or take them for that matter.

          Ramblin' Rooster

          June 9, 2009 at 9:54 pm


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