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Archive for June 8th, 2009

Oh Yes It’s Ladies Night

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I thought we had progressed as a society. I was under the impression that all of our personal demons had been laid upon the table for all to see and with the gift of cable television we had all become desensitized to the skeletons that once danced in our closets.

 

This is all in reference to the fact that gay men are still playing games and dabbling in the arts of secrecy and misconception. Confused? Me too, so let’s start over.

 

As a rooster I’m always on the prowl for lady companionship. Nothing is more fun to me than standing in a meat market, (or local bar as they’re called) swimming in second hand smoke and scoping the room for drunken maidens. I enjoy shelling out hundreds of dollars on watered-down well drinks, sending three or four at a time via the waitress who hates me to potential “friends”. It’s near impossible to find an atmosphere so perfect consisting of loud music in which a romantic background can be set for screaming sweet nothing into a perfumed stranger’s ear, trying to convince her of how amazing you are in one conversation.

 

So you could see how eager and excited I’d be to hear ‘Club Spread’ advertising about “Ladies Night” on the radio. I took note of the fact it was this very evening and went home to “get ready”.

 

When I arrived, I crossed the threshold, shower smooth, wearing new clothes and cologne that would make a nun’s toes curl. My hair was perfect and I had a fresh roll of Mentos. It was on! Once inside the club I made my way to the bar, ordered my fancy drink, a “Phat Dong”, (whiskey, cranberry juice, vodka and milk garnished with an orange slice) and turned a 180 with disco precision to fall back, elbows on the bar. I call it my “girl watching” stance.

 

Much to my surprise it was in vain. Perusing the dance floor, the bathrooms, the table section and the bar all I saw was dudes! WTF?!? Where are all the chicks man? This is supposed to be ladies night; they get in free for crying out loud!

 

I waited around for six hours and not one chick ever showed up, expect some meth skank attached to her boyfriend that looked like it could been her brother. It was then that I knew that this was all a scam. Ladies night is code for man-love action. This is how all the gay men can find each other. Why else would ‘Wham’ be playing on the jukebox? Talk about disappointment, but at least now I know the truth. Gay men love ladies night!

 

I finally went home and watched Univision.

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

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Written by Ramblin' Rooster

June 8, 2009 at 5:15 am