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Archive for June 12th, 2009

Keep Stroking The Keys

with 19 comments

I get it. I totally accept it. I mismanaged my life when I was young. I made some bad career decisions and consequence has caught up with me. Now I’m stuck as a desk jockey for the rest of my life. “I’ve made my bad and now I have to lie in it”. Is that really how that saying goes? Please someone tell me what that’s about, because it’s moronic.

 

I was at the copier today, scanning a file, e-mailing it to myself. The way this works is you put the paper on the glass or the top loading tray, hit the “e-mail” button, hit the “search” button, type the first few letters of your name, find you name, press the button of your name, then hit the green button on the copier. In a few moments the “magic happens” and your scan appears in an e-mail attachment back at your computer. Whoopee!

 

As I was standing at the copier doing this, running my fingers over the keys with my soft and gentle approach, stroking the machine in the early afternoon, still reeling from the soft and chewy cookies I had at lunch, I thought to myself, “How many times have I done this exact same thing?”

 

This spawned the thought of how many times have I’ve done all this crap I do everyday. Over and over again, slowly, but surely, ensuring what can only be incurable insanity at the end of a long and monotonous career.

 

I’m sure the subject matter has been used many times in pop culture, but the one that I remember most was a ‘Saturday Night Live’ sketch, (Dana Carvey/John Larroquette: ‘Heaven Has The Answers’ I think) where a man dies and goes to heaven and asks about all the things in his life. What’s the biggest opportunity I missed, the grossest thing I ever ate, how many spiders crawled in my mouth, etc.

 

I often long to have the statistics of my mundane life to read and study, I wish I knew how many time I pushed the same button or walked the same hallway or turned my head to see if my boss was coming. I think it’d be neat to have a tally of the way in which I wasted my life. I think it’s the only salvageable or decent thing you could get out the redundancy. I estimate that I’ve walked to the copier 13,000 times since I’ve worked for my current company and that’s a very conservative estimate.

 

I’ve typed my sign off 264 times. Make it 265… See what I mean?

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

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