Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of RoosterEgg.com

Father O’ Father

with 11 comments

“Old man look at my life, I’m a lot like you were.” That Neil, he really knew what he was talking about, (or singing I guess). I’ve become my old man without any effort at all. It’s so fitting that I had this epiphany today, (of all days).

 

Just in case you were dropped off at an orphanage after birth that sequentially burned down immediately following and you were raised by wolves in the forest, today is Father’s Day, the day that the necktie industry hails as, “The greatest day of the year”.

 

I still believe that Father’s Day was originated by industry to get women and children to buy products that were made for, but yet never purchased by men themselves. As noted above neckties is the biggest one, followed by socks, shirts with clever phrases, like “World’s Greatest Dad” or “Super Dad”), electric screwdrivers, and gift certificates to Sears.

 

I had dinner out at an Italian restaurant. The difference between tonight’s meal and any other meal is that I didn’t have to pay, (can you say appetizer and dessert?). On a side note, if there’s anyone out there in the world having trouble sticking to their diet, please let me know. I’ll gladly send you a video of my kids eating. If you still want food after that there’s just no hope for you.

 

Driving back to the house afterwards we passed Hooters. The placed was packed. The sign outside had a special for Father’s Day, wings and beer for a low price, (or something). I thought how lovely it was that Hooters was looking out for the family man in this time of economical crisis and trying to help out on such a special family day. “Come on kids. Let’s go look at some boobs. Tell your mom to wait in the car.”

 

I called my father to wish him a happy Father’s Day and he had forgotten that it was today. “Really? Wow, I thought it was in June” said my dad. Needless to say the conversation was quick and to the point. “Love you dad!” “Love you son.” No need to correct the man or question if he was alright to not set himself on fire. He’s lived this long, who am I to tell him what month it is.

 

So in the end, through the sea of chicken wings, neckties and cards signed by your kids that say, “Have a GR-8 F-Day” all that matters is that you make the point.

 

I love you.

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

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Written by Ramblin' Rooster

June 22, 2009 at 4:08 am

11 Responses

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  1. Happy Father’s Day, RR!

    🙂

    Claire Collins

    June 22, 2009 at 4:38 am

  2. Hahahaha, “I thought it was in June”
    Hilarious!
    Happy fathers day!

    Scott Oglesby

    June 22, 2009 at 8:28 am

  3. Happy Father’s Day, RR. Helluva a post. Good for several laughs.

    I spoke to my father as well. He asked me how I was doing, and I told him fine, my little pagans are dancing around the grill while I cook.

    He asked how they were doing (the pagans). I told him that they had decided they were no longer 2 and 4, but rather 14 and 16, having decided that they would fall asleep no sooner than 1 am every night.

    He had no advice for me. I think he laughed a little to himself.

    My dad uses the word “posthaste.” I have never heard anyone else on the planet use it.

    I use the phrases “groovy” and “right on” like they’re going out of style. And they have.

    Capitalist Lion Tamer

    June 23, 2009 at 12:26 am

    • Capitalist Lion Tamer, thanks. I like your descriptions of the minions, totally relate. Interesting the full circle of life, torturing your parents, growing up having your own terrors, your parents loving it that you’re getting paid back, start dreaming of your kids having your grand kids so that they can be feel the retribution of the stress they’re causing you now. It’s a family affair.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      June 23, 2009 at 3:17 am

  4. Father’s Day was invented by the Irish so Gaelic dads could spend one Sunday a year doing something they never got to do: drinking pints in a filthy pub until they puked through their noses. The rest of the world celebrates this holiday by giving the poor bastard a tie. Here are my five fun alternative Father’s Day gifts: 1. Kill his boss. If there’s one thing dad hates more than work it’s his boss. Instead of buying dad a putter get a 2×4 and repeatedly hit his boss over the head with it until his skull is a smashed up piece of pulp and you’re ankle deep in a pool of his blood. Dad will love you forever! 2. Silence for 24 Hours: Hey, you can go back to reminding the old man what an asshole he is on Monday. 3. Get Him A Hooker: dad gets laid, the hooker gets paid; everyone’s a winner. 4. Buy Him A Bag of Pot: Dad’s connections ain’t what they used to be, so show him some love and get him a half ounce of bud. He finally gets a chance to mellow out and later he’ll order a pizza! 5. Move Out of the goddamned house! Nothing says, “I love you, dad” like the back of a U-Haul.

    alantru

    June 23, 2009 at 12:59 am

    • alantru, nice! I could have gone for all of those. From now on your blog is required reading for all those who want to be part of my family.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      June 23, 2009 at 3:19 am


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