Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of RoosterEgg.com

Emergency List

with 22 comments

Things I heard or said prior to waking up in the emergency room:

 

-Ouch!

-Do you smell gas?

-Look out!

-Watch Out!

-Watch this!

-Oh no…

-Whoops…

-Hold on!

-Can you hold my beer?

-My brother did it and nothing happened to him.

-Stand back…

-No, the blue wire!

-That’s never happened to me…

-She’ll never find out…

-Yeah, come on back here and I’ll beat your ass!

-What?

-Just jump…

-Pussy!

-Chicken!

-I double dog dare you!

-I saw this on TV…

-I believe I can fly…

-You got a lighter?

-Just give it a good yank.

-Hey baby, nice ass!

-Go faster!

-That never happens in real life.

-This is going to be awesome!

-Geronimo!

-I don’t know about this…

-I’m not drunk…

-Are you recording?

-What a cute bear…

-OK, turn it on.

-I can fix that.

-I got it!

-Does this kung pow smell weird to you?

-Poke it with a stick.

-What’s the worst that could happen?

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

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22 Responses

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  1. I usually say “Oh, Shit! That’s gonna sting in the morning.”…..

    fkdupdad

    June 28, 2009 at 4:49 am

  2. When I wake up in the emergency room, which I do often, I can always be guaranteed to say…

    Hoogahhh!!!!!

    I’ve hurt my head and I’d prefer to sponge bath myself…

    I’ve hurt my head, I’d like Sponge Bob to sponge bath me…

    Hey medical doctors! It’s me again on a Saturday night!

    I’m okay. I’m good. I’m living on dog food. I’m quoting Iggy, I’m feeling dizzy. But it’s not like death is near, after all, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    alantru

    June 28, 2009 at 5:59 am

    • alantru, I like the flat line sound effect. I saw hot nurses and concerned interns preparing the defibrillator as the world watched with anticipation on whether or not their hero could be resuscitated for the one hundredth time. I even crossed my fingers…

      Ramblin' Rooster

      June 29, 2009 at 3:30 am

  3. Hilarious today, brilliant!
    You’ve been to the hospital a lot. More than a drug addicted lottery winner. More than an alcoholic acrobat. I never knew people could get hurt in the mid-west. You just don’t hear about that kind of thing. Huhmm. It makes me wonder what else I’ve been mislead about?
    I’ve been to the hospital a whole lot too. I think they still remember me back home as “I’m allergic to everything but a morphine drip” Scott.

    Scott Oglesby

    June 28, 2009 at 7:00 am

    • Scott Oglesby, injury in the Midwest doesn’t make it to the press because the doctor’s and journalists are the ones egging you on. “Come on pansy ass, stick the defibrillator on your nuts!” Love alcoholic acrobat… I’d pay a lot to see that show. Wait a minute, do I smell your next hit reality show?

      Ramblin' Rooster

      June 29, 2009 at 3:33 am

  4. Funny, funny stuff, RR.

    Alan’s handled the back nine. Perhaps it’s time for a list of things overheard on the way to the ER.

    “Hey, this guy owes me money! Ted, shut off the sirens and slow down.”

    Capitalist Lion Tamer

    June 28, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    • Capitalist Lion Tamer, touché! That actually happened to me, except they decided to stop for coffee and a quick pickup game of ‘Risk’.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      June 29, 2009 at 3:36 am

  5. Rooster,

    One of your best yet my friend. You wake up in the ER a LOT! I hope Mrs. Rooster has a very good insurance policy on you.

    I’ve never been to the Emergency Room except to take the kids for various reasons.

    And the three very funny followers tickled my funny bone too!

    Claire Collins

    June 29, 2009 at 2:23 am

  6. Hey, lets drink brown liquor and clean shotguns.

    Pull my finger.

    fundamentaljelly

    June 30, 2009 at 4:51 am

    • fundamentaljelly, that sounds wonderful. I was just finishing up a batch of the brown as we speak… Pull your finger… OK… nothing happened… ewww.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      July 3, 2009 at 3:25 am

  7. I have been in the emergency room quite a lot in my day and what I always hear is, “How much longer is it going to be, I have been hear all day.” We have slow medical service down here.

    Eric Richardville

    July 1, 2009 at 3:39 am

    • Eric Richardville, you should set a fire in the waiting room, that’ll get things moving. There’s never a line at the prison doctor.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      July 3, 2009 at 3:28 am


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