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Archive for July 6th, 2009

B A N G !

with 31 comments

The fourth of July is over and I for one am very depressed. I love Fourth of July, but unfortunately not for any of the reasons I should. I don’t sing happy birthday to America, bake a cake, nor buy any gifts. I don’t sake hands with a vet or even take time to be thankful for everything. Perhaps I’m mixing up my holidays or maybe I’m just unappreciative and spoiled. All I want to do is blow things up.


I spend more money on fireworks that I would snorting cocaine off a hooker, bellied up to a craps table in a casino. I can’t get enough boom, pop, pow and I’m not talking about the Black Eyed Peas.


I love seeing the explosions in the air, the chemicals burning and giving off their unique colors as the dance their way down back to earth, burning brightly and then vanishing into the neighbor’s yard.


I don’t care about family, cook outs, swimming, watermelon, beer or spicy, bacon-wrapped, jalapeno poppers from Steve’s garden or the fact I set the neighbor’s roof on fire. I want fireworks and I want them now! More, more, more!


I don’t mess with fire crackers, fountains, sparklers or smoke bombs. I want aerial, night time works. I buy more than anyone really should and I always seem to find a way to slip out of the house to buy a box here and there and some remote stand off the side of the road. “Oh you need panty liners? Let me run to the store and get you some. No, no, it’s no problem at all.”


In the morning, I wake up like the worst of all junkies. Face covered in a light film of ash and soot, mouth dry, flashes and explosions still replaying in my mind, an empty wallet and the thought that I can’t believe it’s all over.


July fifth is the saddest day of my whole year.


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster