Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

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Enough With The White People

with 23 comments

I’ve tried and I’ve tried, but I’ve had enough of you white people. First of all you all look alike. I can’t tell one from the other. Secondly, you’re always in such a dang hurry, with your power walking everywhere you go. Don’t worry, the mall is open till eight and you’ll still get your smoothie. Thirdly, you talk funny and most often out of the corner of your mouths.


The thing that I have always felt sad about when it comes to white people is that you have no culture. There is no background, except for destroying other people’s culture.


White people can’t dance, play real sports or pull off dreadlocks.


White people are everywhere. Every time I turn on the television there’s another one.


White people either smell like talcum powder of chewing tobacco.


White people wear their socks way too high.


White people are picky, finicky, bothered and like to out do their friends complaints with their own complaints.


White people like hearing the sound of their own voice.


White people like to “rock out”, yet the never seem to get there.


White people are delicious, but make sure you cook them until “well done”. Don’t want any of the worms to seep into your brain.


Occasionally you might meet a cool honkey, cracker, white devil, but they won’t share their ‘Junior Mints’ with you.



Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster


23 Responses

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  1. Still, we make a good peanut butter sandwich. The secret ingredients are bread. And peanut butter.


    July 13, 2009 at 5:01 am

    • alantru, OK I’ll give you that. I appreciate the secret ingredients. All this time I’d been using Kool-Aid and mayonnaise, (stupid me).

      Ramblin' Rooster

      July 14, 2009 at 3:10 am

  2. See, that’s something that I’ve always wondered about. I’m half Irish and half Italian, so the Arians would say not I’m white. The Italians won’t let me in anymore because they can’t trace my father’s bloodline all the way back to Sicily. The Irish don’t mind me, but I’m sick of potatoes and warm beer. Before I could say I was American, but now well ….you know. I’m a man with no land. You have saddened me.

    I am a peanut butter & jelly making, mother funking master though.

    Scott Oglesby

    July 13, 2009 at 6:22 am

    • Scott Oglesby, perhaps you could make your own land out of peanut butter and jelly. Just be sure to use white bread.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      July 14, 2009 at 3:11 am

      • Damn, screwed again cause I don’t eat white bread, white rice, or even white pasta much anymore. I’m not on some protein diet or anything, I just prefer whole grain, everything. It so much better. Once you go brown……..

        Scott Oglesby

        July 14, 2009 at 6:30 am

        • Scott Oglesby, I’m waiting… once you go brown… what?!?!?

          Ramblin' Rooster

          July 15, 2009 at 2:52 am

          • You will make a down-syndrome clown frown.

            You can strut around town.

            You’ve taken the crown.

            You’ll have to go down.

            I need a new noun. Damn, that’s all I got.

            Scott Oglesby

            July 15, 2009 at 6:14 am

            • Scott Oglesby, don’t get me wrong, but you tellin’ me to “go down” is disturbing. When are you gonna get here?!?!?!

              Ramblin' Rooster

              July 16, 2009 at 3:14 am

  3. Come on Rooster, we know how to rock a mullet, we invented crooked teeth and black-lung disease. We deserve some credit.


    July 13, 2009 at 6:56 am

  4. At least white people are delicious. Good to know we got something going for us.

    Claire Collins

    July 14, 2009 at 2:28 am

  5. We had the whole “planned community” thing. That was our idea.

    I will continue to rock in no particular direction until my kids begin to tell me I’m embarrassing them. At which they will be walking to school, no matter how many uphill miles it is for them.

    Are you sure most of this isn’t from MC5’s White Panther manifiesto?

    Capitalist Lion Tamer

    July 18, 2009 at 3:14 pm

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