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Ask Me Later

with 18 comments

I just now came up with this theory: The only difference between being a child and being an adult, (besides all that physical stuff) is taste. Taste in everything from food to clothes plus anything in between. I loved cottage cheese as a kid. I haven’t eaten it almost twenty years. It seems like the things we like and the things we dislike, (or vice versa) flip-flop as we stumble threw the years.

 

One thing I’ve flip-flopped on is, “Ask Me Later”. Every computer I use, whether it’s at work or at home has some program that wants me to do something. Regardless of the severity of the decision it always gives me the option of “Ask Me Later”.

 

I know there’s a box to check that says, “Do ask me this again gosh dang it, how dare you to bother me with this dribble!” but I’ve never been decisive enough to make such a permanent choice.

 

At first I found this “Ask Me Later” to be very annoying, borderline comical even, a game that me and the computer would play. It would ask me to do something and I would blow it off, like the man who’s been engaged for two and half years. “Yeah, I’ll get around to it, just not now. Ask me later, OK?” Yeah right.

 

Then it started to grow on me. “Ask Me Later” isn’t just an annoying pop-up; it’s a way of life and one that needed to be thought of as the answer to all things difficult.

 

“Dad, where do babies come from?”

“Ask me later.”

“Do you want to go visit my parents this year for Thanksgiving?”

“Ask me later.”

“Did you take the last piece of cake that I was saving for when I got done with my double shift?”

“Ask me later.”

“Do you ever wish you were still with (insert name of ex-lover)?”

“Ask me later.”

“Who did you vote for?”

“Ask me later.”

“Are you wearing a condom?”

“Ask me later.”

 

You get the point. The usage is unlimited. You can avoid everything in life with this simple and easy to understand phrase. No longer will you ever have to commit to anything. Sure, you may think you have a nifty way of avoiding things with the old “can’t hear you over the water running” or “we must have a bad connection, you’re breaking up”, but the truth is they don’t hold a candle to, “Ask Me Later”.

 

“Why is this” you ask? The answer is simple. “Ask Me Later” is so ambiguous that it doesn’t lend itself to being a disappointment. It’s not a yes and it’s not a no. It’s completely benign, innocent and discourages debate.

 

If someone tries to get smart with you throwing out snappy comebacks like, “When later” or “You always say later” just repeat as necessary. They’ll give up long before you get tired of saying, “Ask me later”.

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

 

 

 

Riddle Me Rooster:

 

What building has the most stories?

 

Submit you’re answer as a comment for the chance to win fabulous make-believe prizes and come back next Sunday for the answer. Good luck!

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Written by Ramblin' Rooster

July 27, 2009 at 3:26 am

18 Responses

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  1. Awesome return to form, RR.

    You’ve turned “ask me later” into life’s snooze button, which was the greatest advancement in alarm clock technology since unemployment.

    As for the riddle: I’m going to say the book depository in Dallas, TX.

    Mainly because of this:
    http://store.theonion.com/kennedy-slain-by-cia,-mafia,-castro,-lbj,-freemasons-1962-p-342.html

    Capitalist Lion Tamer

    July 27, 2009 at 4:23 am

  2. A thought provoking post and a little bonus riddle at the end. You just made my day.

    So my catch phrase is “We’ll see”. It works the same.

    “Mom, where do babies come from?”

    “We’ll see.”

    “Do you want to go visit my parents this year for Thanksgiving?”

    “We’ll see.”

    “Did you take the last piece of cake that I was saving for when I got done with my double shift?”

    “We’ll see.”

    “Do you ever wish you were still with (insert name of ex-lover)?”

    “We’ll see.”

    “Who did you vote for?”

    “We’ll see.”

    “Are you wearing a condom?”

    “We’ll see.”

    As for the riddle: I had no idea until I read CLT’s response. Then it hit me. And it hurt, damn it.

    A library

    Claire Collins

    July 27, 2009 at 5:06 am

    • You know what other building could have the most stories? Grandpa’s house! Or at least if your grandpa is anything like mine. He had a story for everything.

      OH! Or how about a preschool? I was a preschool teacher and I read SO many stories.

      I hear you praying for the youth of America that I taught. I was a very good preschool teacher!

      Stop laughing!

      Claire Collins

      July 28, 2009 at 5:30 am

      • Claire Collins, you taught kids? That’s nice. Why did you choose to stop, or did the judge make you?

        Ramblin' Rooster

        July 29, 2009 at 3:13 am

        • Ha! Mean but funny! I stopped because I was about 6 months pregnant with my third son and I went into premature labor. That pretty much ended teaching 2 year olds for awhile. And then 15 months after him, my daughter was born…

          Claire Collins

          July 29, 2009 at 4:22 am

    • Claire Collins, “we’ll see” has too much attitude. I’ve logged you’re excellent answer.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      July 29, 2009 at 3:04 am

  3. Wow, it’s nice to have you back! I have something to look forward to on Monday mornings now!

    As a natural procrastinator, I love this new philosophy. Now not only can I put off doing a task, I can put off agreeing to the task to begin with! The “do you want to allow a cookie” pop up is the one that pisses me off, because, no I’ve never allowed a cookie and I never will allow a cookie, so quit fucking asking me.

    As for the riddle- I know that the ‘correct’ answer would be a library, but the true answer would be a prison. Very entertaining place. Those guys had me in stitches for years!

    Scott Oglesby

    July 27, 2009 at 7:47 am

    • Scott Oglesby, where were you holed up? Could be we were cell mates and don’t even know it! Who’d say no to cookies, but more importantly get so angry about it? No wonder you did time in the clink.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      July 29, 2009 at 3:07 am

      • Oh my God! Bubba is that you? Do you have a mole right under….never mind. How you been big man? Did you take care of that thing, we were talking about?

        Scott Oglesby

        July 29, 2009 at 6:56 am

        • Scott “Red” Oglesby, I did take care of that thing. Do you worry about it ever again, he ain’t, errr… it ain’t gonna bother you no more.

          Ramblin' Rooster

          August 3, 2009 at 3:03 am

  4. Its the new “no fucking way.” Good points all.

    Library of Congress

    fundamentaljelly

    July 28, 2009 at 1:03 am

    • fundamentaljelly, nothing could replace the classic, “N.F.W.” Superb guess, it has been logged.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      July 29, 2009 at 3:09 am

  5. Well this was definitely worth the wait. I’d like to help you out with your answers.

    “Dad, where do babies come from?”

    “A factory in China.”

    “Do you want to go visit my parents this year for Thanksgiving?”

    “No.”

    “Did you take the last piece of cake that I was saving for when I got done with my double shift?”

    “Yes. Get over it.”

    “Do you ever wish you were still with (insert name of ex-lover)?”

    “Never heard of her.”

    “Who did you vote for?”

    “The idiot.”

    “Are you wearing a condom?”

    “From now on. Always.”

    And some bonus ones…

    ”Dad, Why is there water?”

    “To mix with your scotch.”

    “Dad, how does the phone work?”

    ”You plug it in the wall.”

    ”Dad, where does Bugs Bunny live?”

    “In a better house than us.”

    alantru

    July 28, 2009 at 3:18 am

    • alantru, hell yes! You’re the only man among us. They’ll be no procrastination with you around. I feel schooled, (in a good way). Thanks man.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      July 29, 2009 at 3:11 am


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