Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of RoosterEgg.com

Awkward Moments

with 12 comments

In today’s world, awkward has really lost its power. There use to be a time when awkward made people want to kill themselves. These days awkward is used to sum up or describe the most mundane of experiences.

 

“So I was asked him if he liked Duran Duran and he never answered. Talk about awkward.” “I say Carlita at the mall buying a ‘Thigh Master’. It was really awkward.” I’m sorry to inform you, it’s not awkward, it’s silliness.

 

Here’s an example of awkwardness:

 

Say what you will about the testament of marriage, nothing can stop a wife from becoming despondent after walking in on you having an “intimate moment” with a vacuum.

 

You can try clever and witty defense maneuvers like:

 

“What time is it? I thought the thing ended at eight.”

 

“Ha, ha, pretty funny, huh?”

 

“You always said you wanted me to clean around the house.”

 

“These attachments really do make all the difference.”

 

“How can this be dirty?”

 

“Look at the bright side, at least your sister’s not here this time.”

 

Come on, you can’t tell me that the inventor of the vacuum didn’t try it at least once. I for one believe that it was it’s first intention.

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

 

 

—Riddle Me Rooster—

 

The answer to last weeks riddle was “Age”

Congratulations to Anjali for the correct answer. You win Claire Collins championship trophy, because let’s face it; she’s had it long enough.

 

Tonight’s riddle:

 

Why does the cafeteria clock always run slowly?

 

Submit you’re answer as a comment for the chance to win fabulous make-believe prizes and come back next Sunday for the answer. Good luck!

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12 Responses

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  1. You could say you were swimming in the Amazon and an insect crawled up your urethra, and It was the only way you could think of to get it out.

    You could say, “It’s better than hiring a whore!”

    You could say, “Sit down, I’m about to show you a magic trick.”

    You could say, “See, I told you I’m no good at cleaning, so don’t ask me to do it again.”

    I admit that it would be a little awkward tho. I’ll be back after I think about your riddle. I promise I won’t google.

    Scott Oglesby

    September 1, 2009 at 10:00 am

    • Scott Oglesby, funny, funny, funny. My favorite was the Amazon infestation, very logical. It’s much too embarrassing to go to a doctor and by the time you got there it might be too late.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      September 7, 2009 at 2:52 am

  2. Maybe the hose was a little kinky and you were just trying to straighten it out.

    cupofmondays

    September 1, 2009 at 1:19 pm

  3. “You’d be surprised how much dust collects on one of these.”

    fundamentaljelly

    September 3, 2009 at 4:50 am

  4. Sounds like you speak from experience, Rooster.

    You broke into my house and stole my Championship Trophy?
    :sob:

    I’m totally laughing until my sides hurt reading the comments as well. Everyone’s so distracted by your vacuum excuses that no one’s answering the riddle, so I may swoop in and steal my trophy back.
    👿

    Claire Collins

    September 6, 2009 at 12:03 am

    • Claire Collins, you’re right about the comments. These people know how to party with appliances! I figured by the time Anjali got to Arizona to get the trophy you would have won it back in time to keep it.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      September 7, 2009 at 2:55 am

  5. Great stuff, RR. Especially the first defensive line, which posits that the real issue here is that the “thing” ended at the wrong time.

    How about:

    “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been blowing this ‘rape whistle’ for like an hour?”

    Capitalist Lion Tamer

    September 6, 2009 at 3:21 am

    • Capitalist Lion Tamer, you’re so right. I’m not in the wrong; it’s the damn thing ending too early! Loved the rape whistle line, nice and hilarious.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      September 7, 2009 at 2:58 am

  6. I know the riddle answer. I didn’t use Google but my wife told me, so there were outside sources:

    “Because everyone is always going back for (4) seconds.”

    So if anyone gets the travelling trophy, cupofmondays does. I’ll still get to have the trophy at my house, which is pretty cool. I promise to walk it every day.

    Capitalist Lion Tamer

    September 7, 2009 at 4:17 am

    • Capitalist Lion Tamer, you are right, but I’m afraid too late. That sucks! Takes the trophy, cut it in half, take one and give the other to cupofmondays and the other half to Claire. The halves… hmm.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      September 14, 2009 at 3:04 am


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