Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of RoosterEgg.com

A Sign

with 14 comments

As you all may or may not know I have no idea what to do with my life. I’m constantly thinking that this is “temporary” or “I’ll get to it” or “I’d like to that right after I find my list of nine million other things I thought I wanted to do”.

 

And with “keeping the faith” of being directionally challenged, morally confused and ignorant to opportunity I like to believe the “spirit world” will guide me and take care of all my decisions for me, (like taking a crossbow bolt in the mid-thigh. Thanks spirit world!).

 

So I’m always looking for a sign, an easy avenue, a no-brainer to take me to the nirvana I’ve sought my whole life. I always believed it’d be in the form of a ghost, flash of celestial light, happenstance or something so powerful that it would make my legs weak and I would fall to the ground crying and singing in tongue, (like taking a crossbow bolt in the mid-thigh. Thanks spirit world!).

 

Little did I know that the sign that would come would actually be a sign, a cardboard sign written in black, permanent marker to be more exact. A sign reading, “Opportunities in Real Estate” followed by a number. How could it be anymore clear?

 

Here I am driving home from work, drifting off in thoughts of violently and sexually assaulting my boss with splintering broom handles and as I take the off ramp from the highway I see this sign…

 

I don’t have to tell you that any hand made sign on the side of the highway off ramp is not only genius, but immediately trustworthy. It’s handcrafted and that means the person cared.

 

I called up the number and left my credit card number on the message machine. I’m very excited to find out what happens next. I’ll let you know and keep your fingers crossed.

 

Isn’t this exciting?

 

 

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

 

 

—Riddle Me Rooster—

 

Tonight’s riddle:

 

What do sea monsters eat?

 

Submit you’re answer as a comment for the chance to win fabulous make-believe prizes and come back next Sunday for the answer. Good luck!

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14 Responses

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  1. I think you’re barking up the right tree (or whatever it is your species does when it’s on the right trail or appropriate metaphor for your species) with this business opportunity.

    1. All the words were spelled correctly. Never underestimate the importance of this. Often “opportunities” will get shorted an “i” or have an extraneous “z”. Like the old adgage says: “Z’s of three; let them be. Let them be. Let them be. Speaking wordz of wizdom, let them beeeeeeeeee.”

    2. No extraneous quotation marks. This is another sign that you are dealing with a scam artist with at least 4-6 credits at a major college. Most signmakers will attempt to warn you away by changing the intent of their sign like this:

    “Opportunities” in Real Estate
    (which would indicate that the market has plateaued, meaning that God isn’t making any more land)

    Opportunities in “Real Estate”
    (which would indicate that perhaps this business operates via eminent domain or obiturary-watching)

    Opportunities “in” Real Estate
    (which would indicate that the sign-maker has seen quotation marks before and feels they should be on signs)

    I wish you the best of luck and speedy small-claims court recovery.

    Riddle answer: Seamen.

    Just like Rod Stewart.

    Capitalist Lion Tamer

    November 4, 2009 at 3:20 am

    • Capital Lion Tamer, nice comment. What really drove home the “legit” factor to me was around ‘N’ in opportunities the letters began to get smaller more scrunched together and almost didn’t fit onto the sign. What started out on the left hand side, an excellent margin space, was lost by the end. Also the words kind on angled downward. Both of these were good indications to me that the creator was so busy with his/her real estate opportunities that making a sign was the lowest of priorities. I felt honored that they could carve out the time to even extend me an offer. My court date is set for early next year.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      November 9, 2009 at 4:05 am

  2. If for any reason the real estate thing doesn’t pan out, I can put you in touch with a guy who knows a guy, who can put you in the high volume vacuum cleaner sales biz. I mean, you would like to earn a thousand a day, wouldn’t you? Sure most of your clients will be friends and family, but hey, that’s just how you get started. Just think…Kirby!

    Still, I have everything crossed for you. My junk is starting to go numb while still waiting for Claire in fact.

    My riddle answer is: Scottish and Irish people. But I like CLT’s answer better.

    Scott Oglesby

    November 7, 2009 at 7:09 am

    • Scott Oglesby, Kirby? Jack Kirby, the late artist? True story, I sold vacuum cleaners for almost four hours once. I walked into the office my first day and the manager was on the phone reading from a 3 x 5 card telling the person that their name had been drawn and they won a prize, but first they needed to sit through a demonstration. He would end the conversation with, “How’s that for some good news?” It made used car sales people seem honest, friendly and trustworthy.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      November 9, 2009 at 4:09 am

  3. How did me, seamen, and Scott’s junk all get in the same post? What have you guys been doing while I’ve been away? Never mind, I already saw something about Rooster driving home and having disturbing thoughts about his boss. I was very glad I wasn’t his boss.

    Anyway, Sea Monsters must eat mermaids which explains why the mermaid population is nearly extinct and we are totally over run with Sea monsters. I shot one with a bow and arrow just a couple of days ago.

    Claire Collins

    November 18, 2009 at 5:56 am

    • Claire Collins, we’d all like to know how you, seamen and Scott’s junk got together. I had no idea you hunted sea monsters. First it’s roof party mania and now this. Rock n’ roll!

      Ramblin' Rooster

      November 23, 2009 at 3:45 am

      • Im a woman of many talents.

        Claire Collins

        November 23, 2009 at 5:11 am

        • Claire Collins, a women of many talents, (except apostrophes apparently).

          Ramblin' Rooster

          November 23, 2009 at 5:16 am

          • Pcking on my typos? My oh my.

            I always have to go back and add those in. I hit the buttons to drop them in but by the time I do that, I’m already 10 letters ahead of where the apostrophe should have been.

            Claire Collins

            November 23, 2009 at 5:20 am

            • Claire Collins, it’s alright, I don’t mind. I was just playin’.

              Ramblin' Rooster

              November 23, 2009 at 5:40 am

              • I also forgot the I in picking. It’s like Ni in the 90’s. Can we blame it on me being very tired and nearly brain dead after a long weekend?

                Claire Collins

                November 23, 2009 at 5:45 am

                • Claire Collins, I don’t care what you blame it on. I’m just glad you still stop by to visit, (you’re cooler than I).

                  Ramblin' Rooster

                  November 23, 2009 at 5:53 am

                  • I’m not nearly as reliable as I used to be. I think you should be here every day urging me on.

                    Claire Collins

                    December 6, 2009 at 12:45 am


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