Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of

32 Ounces Kills

with 12 comments

As a fellow bird, one might think that I know all about birds. This simply isn’t true. In fact it’s quite ignorant. It’s like saying that all black people know each other or all white people like caviar. Just because you belong to a certain group or type doesn’t relieve you from being a total dumbass, (or something philosophical like that).


Case in point, I was shocked to find out that if a bird, regardless of their stature, religious significance, or pop culture reference can not handle drinking 32 ounces of liquid. Now I don’t mean they can’t handle it like, “Joe threw up in your backseat. I guess he can’t handle his liquor.” No, I mean can’t handle it like if he/she does they’ll die.

That’s a dead bird folks.


That’s harsh!


Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster



—Riddle Me Rooster—


A while ago CLT felt angry and threatened to end my life unless I made the riddles easy and not off-the-wall-there’s-no-way-I’ll-ever-guess-that-it’s-not-even-really-a-riddle-man. So last week I dared to defy him and now I’m dead, but oh well…

The answer to last weeks riddle was “Falling down the stairs in a suit of (modern, i.e. cheap) armor, with a twelve pack of beer”.

Everyone who answered wins the opportunity to be a pallbearer at my funeral.



Tonight’s riddle:


What’s a cat that drinks lemonade?


Submit you’re answer as a comment for the chance to win fabulous make-believe prizes and come back next Sunday for the answer. Good luck!


Written by Ramblin' Rooster

November 23, 2009 at 5:38 am

12 Responses

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  1. That doesn’t make sense, I buy my parrot 7-11 slurpees all the time. I think there must have been some foul play involved. For real.

    (hilarious blog, btw)


    ps. I know I haven’t commented before, but can I still guess? I can? Great!

    My answer is sourpuss…


    November 23, 2009 at 11:37 am

    • bschooled welcome to the roost. Foul play? As in fowl play? As in hilarious double entendre? I love it. I too suspect it was murder, but the cops won’t do anything about it. They don’t care for the birds. It’s sad really. I like a person that takes cares of the simple questions. I have logged your answer, (CLT, take note of this answer).

      Ramblin' Rooster

      November 30, 2009 at 3:53 am

  2. sour puss. duh 🙂


    November 26, 2009 at 5:22 pm

  3. I don’t know much about birds either, but I hope that’s not a spotted owl or something. God Damn, the culture of bigger everything has finally reached the animal kingdom. Next thing you know the Cheetos Tiger will have a massive coronary and the Cookie Monster will have to have diabetes related amputations. Wait, is the Cookie monster an animal?

    Riddle; A dry pussy?

    Scott Oglesby

    November 29, 2009 at 5:02 pm

    • Scott Oglesby, little known fact I learned from watching Jeopardy in the eighties, all birds are spotted. I believe the Cookie Monster is an animal… a party animal! I have laughed at and logged your answer.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      November 30, 2009 at 3:59 am

  4. Being white, I don’t know anybody and hate caviar. Well, I assume I hate caviar, but seeing as I don’t know anybody, I’ve never been invited to an event where it might be served.

    Shame about that bird. I expect a warning to be printed on those cups from now on. Something to the effect that 32 oz. drinks are not suitable for the avian community, as they often result in complications of death.

    I’m a much calmer person now in regards to inscrutable questions. This might be due to filing loan application after loan application. Plenty of questions I don’t understand on those. Like, “If you were a tree, whom could we contact to collect the money you owe us?”

    I answered: “Not a money tree, if that’s what you’re asking.”

    As for the riddle, I’ll go with sourpuss for the easy win, which reminds me of the short-lived liqueur of the same name, whose shirt offended a PETA-type friend of mine with their slogan: “Shoot the cat.”

    Capitalist Lion Tamer

    November 30, 2009 at 3:51 am

    • Capitalist Lion Tamer, your comments tonight remind me of a bouncy ball, as in totally off the wall and awesome. Caviar is delicious, but you must know a lot of people to enjoy it. Perhaps if the loan papers are approved you can buy a ton of people to stand around while you enjoy the rich and full bodies taste of salty fish eggs. Nice move on the easy win, I love your style. I wish I had a money tree…

      Ramblin' Rooster

      November 30, 2009 at 4:14 am

      • If CLT throws a party and serves caviar, I’m coming. There’s something wrong about birds eating fish eggs. That’s like people eating chicken eg… er… on another note, I want to come visit one day with a really long name like WhydidtheroostercrosstheroadtogetotheothersideandgotlosthalfwayoverandranbackbutforgotwherehewasgoingandstoodinthemiddleoftheroaduntilIdroveby and leave lots of comments just to see you type it over and over.

        Claire Collins

        December 6, 2009 at 12:54 am

        • Claire Collins, that would be a very cruel trick to pull, but it sure would be funny, (for everyone else).

          Ramblin' Rooster

          December 7, 2009 at 1:26 am

  5. Oh, and by the way, cats don’t drink lemonade.

    Claire Collins

    December 6, 2009 at 12:57 am

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