Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of

Christmas Cheer

with 4 comments

There’s a great old cliché that was created to remind us all of our humanity and good will. It is of course “Tis better to give than receive”. Now while you may think that this saying is suppose to discourage greediness, it’s really insight into the fact that giving a crappy gift is better than getting one. This is because the receiver must put on a “happy face” or “fake it” as any good woman will tell you. The giver on the other hand is under no pressure. They can simply watch “the faker” and think to themselves, “I never really liked you anyway.”

Gift giving has always been a gamble and not the fun kind, but like most gambling you can be assured you will lose money.

Kids under nine years old are the easiest to buy for. You can literally walk into any toy store or department blindfolded and pick something. As long as you are gender correct, you win.

Kids between the ages of ten and ten thousand are also easy. Money is a sure bet, the only problem you can encounter is the amount. I say always go with your gut and by gut I mean nobody deserves more than twenty dollars.

Now my mother thinks that giving money is bad. I’ve never understood why. I guess it’s because she thinks it’s not personal enough, or cold. It’s been my experience that giving and receiving money has been a very pleasurable, personable and warm experience. Just ask Candy at ‘Club Grind-On-Me’. By the way they have excellent specials and there’s no cover Christmas day. Take my advice, saying you’re going for egg nog doesn’t work for a six hour excursion to the “club”. So think of something better.

All in all Christmas is a great way to avoid work, spend time with the family and drink excessively without the “stink eye” from loved ones. For some reason saying, “It’s Christmas” gets you out of all irresponsible behavior, like going out for egg nog and coming home six hours later covered in glitter.

“It’s Christmas glitter!”

Egg On!

Ramblin’ Rooster

—Riddle Me Rooster—

The answer to last week’s riddle was “Hugs the shore”. Seems like no one really cared to answer. Claire kinda, sorta answered, but sadly this isn’t a game of horseshoes.

Tonight’s riddle:

How much longer will this last?

Submit you’re answer as a comment for the chance to win fabulous make-believe prizes and come back next Sunday for the answer. Good luck!


4 Responses

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  1. You could always just say you went to the toy story. You know, with the lines and all. As for the glitter and snail trail… went hiking in the enchanted forest? I hope that you had a wonderful Christmas and that you have an amazing New Year filled with health, happiness and glitter!!

    Another month? Sorry, I’ve been kinda out of commission.

    Scott Oglesby

    January 2, 2010 at 8:12 am

  2. That’s a classic piece of writing there, Rooster. Fuck Andy Rooney or Garrison Keillor or even Dave Barry for that matter.

    Nothing sums up the true holiday spirit more than the complete embarce of the hypocrisy and materialism of it all. Of course, we’re talking kids mainly which would normally seem disingenous, but they’re kids and the mean of most of these words will fly right over their mercenary little heads.

    Riddle answer: it’s rhetorical… so… seven.

    Capitalist Lion Tamer

    January 4, 2010 at 1:34 am

    • Capitalist Lion Tamer, funny you should say that, ’cause I’ve slept with all three. That Dave Berry is quite the perv. The kids, do it for the kids!

      Ramblin' Rooster

      January 10, 2010 at 7:19 pm

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