Sunday's drive up your blog… with Ramblin' Rooster

The official blog of RoosterEgg.com

Smoke ’em If Ya Got ’em

with 6 comments

Every good smoker needs a collection of butts

Cigarettes are like prostitutes; despite the fact that you have to pay to get them it doesn’t take away from the pleasure of the experience. Smoking is like the best way to waste your money and life. You could argue that skydiving or nuclear research would be more note worthy, but then you probably don’t smoke. Being addicted to something that kills you is like saying to the Angel of Death, “Hey man, I don’t care. Haunt me all you want, I’m doing this for you.”

It's always good to have some light reading when smoking

I read in a medical journal the other day that smoking really isn’t that bad for you; it’s horrible. I don’t understand why though…  inhaling carcinogens doesn’t really seem like such a bad method of breathing. I inhale all kinds of toxic things everyday; car exhaust, factory smoke, gas fumes filling up the car, burning plastic, John’s aftershave.

Nothing's more sad than an empty ashtray

Smoking sure is cool. I can’t think of anybody that smokes that isn’t cool, well isn’t cool because they smoke. A lot of people who are terrible and despicable smoke, but not because they smoke. Non-smokers lack that coolness, you know that says, “Hey look, I’m slowly killing myself and I wear a leather jacket.”

She's got a sweet ash!

Sometimes when I’m smoking I think about my daughter visiting my coffin at my funeral. I think about missing her graduation or her wedding or holding my grand kids. Then I think, “Mmmm, that’s good.”

Cigarettes are expensive, but if I didn’t spend the money on cigarettes I’d be smoking twice as much crack and that couldn’t be good.

The thing about smoking, the thing you have to remember, is that respiratory illness is fun. Plus it opens you up to meeting all kinds of potential hot nurses.

Egg On,

Ramblin’ Rooster

-Ramble me Rooster-

The answer to last week’s riddle was, “Because if they dropped them, they’d break.” Which is pretty much what everybody said, so everybody wins tickets to the Superbowl!

Tonight’s riddle:

When do you put pickles in door?

Submit you’re answer as a comment for the chance to win fabulous make-believe prizes and come back next Sunday for the answer. Good luck!

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Written by Ramblin' Rooster

February 8, 2010 at 3:39 am

6 Responses

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  1. Nice post Rooster! As an indulger myself, I was just thinking this morning when I emptied my cup ashtray this morning, about how gratifying it is to have an empty ashtray that will hold all my butts and won’t have to be changed for a while. It’s like how Fridays are so good because that is the maximum time ahead of you before Monday. Aaah….

    Michael

    February 8, 2010 at 4:51 am

    • Michael, I owe you an apology. I haven’t been visiting your site like I should. I’m going to try and correct that. Thanks for coming back after such a long time and such crappy blogosphere manners. Now that we got that out of the way… Nice comment. I go both ways. I too like an empty ashtray, begging for fresh butt, but I also enjoy an ashtray that’s overflowing with butts. It lets you know where you’ve been and what you’ve accomplished.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      February 8, 2010 at 5:51 am

  2. I quit drinking and smoking for 1 year in August of last year as you know. I couldn’t do one without the other. I stupidly started both again for fiesta season, and neither one really gave me any pleasure at all. So I quit drinking again in Dec. Now I have to quit the coffin nails again too. I read ‘The Easyway to Quit Smoking’ by Allen Carr and it worked like a charm for me. So that’s my plan again.

    I’m telling you man, that was the best year health wise of my adult life. I’m looking forward to quitting again. Try that book. Besides Roosters’ don’t look cool smoking, it shrinks the cock…..

    Riddle; when the door is ajar…..bwahahahaha…..get that book!

    Scott Oglesby

    February 14, 2010 at 8:01 am

    • Scott Oglesby, are you really Allen Carr in disguise? I’ll try the book, but I’d think inhaling all that ink by smoking the book would be just as bad, if not worse, as cigarettes.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      February 15, 2010 at 6:45 pm

  3. I have the Allan Carr book and it’s a trip, just a few chapters in and I can see a method to the madness.

    Just bought the Nintendo DS “Stop Smoking Coach” cartridge today,it’s based on the Allan Carr book, because self improvement through Nintendo (Brain Age, Wii Fit etc.) is a personal obsession of mine.

    Michael

    February 15, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    • Michael, it’s a good obsession to get into. I hope to get the “How to Break the Wii Habit” for PS3. Thanks for commenting.

      Ramblin' Rooster

      February 22, 2010 at 4:06 am


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